


Crystal Clear Experiences

by tommygirl



Category: Veritas: The Quest
Genre: Bodyswap, Fluff and Angst, Groundhog Day, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-16 06:22:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 34,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13048302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tommygirl/pseuds/tommygirl
Summary: Calvin isn't sure if artifacts can purposefully mess with someone, but it was beginning to feel that way.  Or - Calvin and Nikko get closer as they deal with a bunch of near mishaps.





	1. The Freaky Friday Rehash

**Author's Note:**

  * For [carolinecrane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinecrane/gifts).



> To Carolinecrane, who has written many stories over the years that I've adored, so I hope this story makes you smile and fits the bill. This story got away from me and basically became this monstrosity of an arc that I felt compelled to finish in order to get the characters to exactly where I wanted them. It was a lot of fun to revisit this show and to write for these characters. It's an old love of mine and I hope i did it justice. No tropes or cliches were hurt in the creation of this project, and this is only readable because of my betas, who listened to me work out the initial premise and then put up with me constantly talking about it.

The last three months Nikko Zond had been acting weird.  Or weirder than usual and it was beginning to freak Calvin out.

In the aftermath of everything that had happened in the castle, Calvin had felt a renewed sense of purpose with the team, so he tried not to over think things too much.  Nikko had somehow pieced together how the ring fit together and it had provided a wealth of information and data that needed to be handled.  The team had felt like more of a team than it had in a long time and it looked like Nikko had finally figured out his place with everyone.

Calvin figured it was because everyone was so busy, but after a few days of no one harassing him or asking stupid questions while he worked, Calvin knew something was off.  Nikko had gotten quieter and seemed to have withdrawn from everyone.  He didn’t fight Juliet on his schoolwork, didn’t whine at his father about wanting things, and never came over to annoy Calvin. 

It freaked Calvin out, so much so that he found himself missing the way Nikko would spin around in the chair and talk at Calvin about stupid things.  Even when Calvin tried to get a reaction, Nikko simply shrugged and walked off. 

Calvin wasn’t sure if he was more worried about Nikko or the fact that he missed their day-to-day teasing that Cal had actually come to understand was Nikko’s way of showing he cared.Calvin didn’t recognize this version of Nikko and he couldn’t believe he was thinking it, but he missed the kid he had gotten to know over the last nine months.  Nikko could push his buttons, brought out a snotty side to Calvin that he didn’t even knew he had before, and goaded Calvin to the point of wanting to literally throttle the life out of him.  But Nikko was also smart and funny and loyal and every time Calvin had been in over his head this past year, Nikko had been there to help him through it.  A pain in the ass the whole time, but still there to help, and Calvin had realized that Nikko was someone he could trust; someone he counted on.

The kid was off and he didn’t seem to think he had a friend in the world.  Calvin wasn’t sure what had happened between the castle and the following day, but it was obvious that something had occurred.  But every time Cal or anyone else tried to talk to him, Nikko muttered about homework and disappeared into his room.

Calvin had missed Nikko, which was the reason he was now fumbling through a cavern with a sullen teenager giving off waves of don’t-want-to-be-here vibes.  When Maggie had suggested two people go in ahead of the rest of them and set up the equipment because of the tight squeeze of the caverns, Calvin had the brilliant idea to volunteer him and Nikko. 

Nikko hadn’t even complained and Calvin had spent the last twenty minutes going further into the caverns with a brooding mute and it was freaking him out.  He wanted his Nikko back.

His Nikko…

Calvin needed to a grip.  Nikko had made him so crazy that he was going down a road that he had no intention of ever visiting.  No way, no how.

Calvin cleared his throat and asked, “You alive back there?”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“And what, Chuck?”

“You’ve usually got a lot more to say.”

“I thought about pointing out the fact that you were dressed like a demented seminary student, but decided it wasn’t worth the effort,” Nikko commented. 

“I’ve got other things on my mind than perfecting my outfits to go to an excavation site,” Calvin replied and he wondered what was wrong with him that he felt slightly better than he had in weeks.

“Why did you drag me down here with you anyway?  Maggie would have made a better choice.”

“Then I end up carrying everything myself.  You go on and on about what a beefcake you are-“

“-beefcake?  The eighties wants its vernacular back.”

“There it is,” Calvin said.  He stopped walking when they came to a fork in the tunnels. He glanced back at Nikko and went on, “Started to think you were replaced by a docile and sweet clone.  It’s been weeks since you spent any time telling me how amazing you are and what a mess I am.”

Calvin could practically hear the roll of the eyes that he sensed Nikko was shooting him.  Calvin went on, “It’s true.  It’s becoming a thing, Nikko.”

“A thing?”

“We’re all worried about you.”

Nikko dropped his end of the trunk and came to stand next to Calvin so that they were shoulder to shoulder.  His eyes were focused on the tunnels, but Cal could see the tension in his stance.  Nikko replied,“No one needs to worry about me.  I’ve got it covered.”

Calvin put down his part of the trunk, rubbing the soreness out of his palms against his jeans, more to keep from grabbing Nikko by the shoulders and shaking him.  Cal said, “Not this again.  You’re a part of a team.  You need to trust that we’ll have your back and stop acting like you’re all alone in this.”

Nikko laughed mirthlessly and said, “You sound like Vincent except less vague and wise.”

“Talk to me, man.  Let me help you.”

Nikko groaned and said, “I can’t believe you’re doing this now!  If you’ve been noticing this for _weeks_ , and we’re such a _team_ , why are you waiting until a job to say anything?”

“You’ve been avoiding everyone.”

“So you thought you could get me stuck down here alone with you in the caverns and I’d bare my soul to you?”

“Don’t be an asshole.  I’m trying to help you.”

“That a fact?”

“I’ve got no idea what’s going on with you-“

“-why would you?”

“Because I know you.”

“You know me?” Nikko scoffed.

Calvin glanced over at him again, trying to keep the scowl off his face, and replied, “Yeah.  I know you.  Nine months of hell, but I’ve come to understand you by now and this…whatever this is, it’s not you.  So what’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“You still mad about what happened in that castle?”

“No.”

“Nikko-“

“-you and I are fine and nothing’s wrong.  Glad we had this discussion,” Nikko walked back over to his end of the trunk and picked it up, staring at Cal’s end impatiently.  “Now more walking, less talking.”

“And this is what I get for trying to help,” Calvin muttered, picking up the handle of the trunk and resisting the urge to yank it hard.  He decided to hold onto his frustration in order to keep the worry from setting back in.He had really believed that he and Nikko had come a long way with their relationship.  He thought Nikko knew that no matter how much they bickered, he could trust Calvin. 

Calvin moved toward the right passageway, increasing his speed so that they could get there and Calvin could concentrate on something other than Nikko Zond.  He wasn’t sure what he was thinking, trying to have a rational conversation with the surly brat.  Calvin had obviously lost his mind.

Calvin hated himself that he let Nikko get under his skin like this. He loathed that Nikko had come to hold such significance in his life that Calvin was having a tantrum in his own head because Nikko wouldn’t talk to him.

“Dude, what’s your problem?” Nikko said.

“You said no more talking.”

“You’re pouting.  A grown man and you’re pouting because I’ve been giving everybody exactly what they’ve wanted for months.”

Cal stopped abruptly, causing the trunk to hit him in the knees.  He replied, “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Nothing.  Forget I said anything.”

“No.  You don’t get to pull this crap, Nicky.  You can’t hint at some great hurt that the team has caused you and then not explain yourself, especially when I’ve spent the last ten minutes trying to get you to talk to me.”

“I can do whatever I want.”

“You’re such a jerk.”

“Thanks, Chuck.  No one gives me warm and fuzzy feelings like you do.”

Calvin was about to launch at him and punch him in the face.  It might get him fired, probably battered and bruised because Nikko was a good fighter that had come along way with Vincent, and likely not accomplish Calvin’s original goal…but he bet it would feel good.  Nikko was purposefully needling him and it was working.   Calvin was at the end of his rope.

He wanted his Nikko back.  He missed the kid that would tease him, but not in a mean and spiteful way; the guy that was at ease enough around everyone to let his guard down.  Calvin had no idea how to get through to this stubborn idiot.

Calvin let out a slow, deep breath and was about to respond when Nikko’s familiar ring tone echoed around them.  Nikko used one of his hands to pat down his jacket.  He said, “Better take this.”

“You have got be kidding me right now,” Calvin said, with a put-upon sigh, trying to make it crystal clear to Nikko that he was less than pleased.

Nikko either didn’t notice, or didn’t care – probably some mix of the two – and shrugged before he dropped his end of the case to the ground so he could pick up his phone, sending Calvin stumbling backwards.  Calvin noticed Nikko’s smirk as he turned away and took it.   Nikko was attempting to keep his voice low, but Calvin recognized the familiar on-edge posture that tended to set in whenever he talked to his father, even after all this time.

Nikko huffed as he shoved his phone into his pocket and turned around, yanking at his end of the trunk.  Calvin stared at him and, when Nikko didn’t say anything, he dropped his part of the trunk.  He could admit that he got a little satisfaction out of watching Nikko lose his footing.

“What the hell, Chuck?”

“You gonna explain?”

“None of your business.”

Calvin crossed his arms and said, “We back to this?”

“It was my Dad, reminding me that we are not to touch anything until he gets here.  He is the great and powerful Oz and you and I are just little peons in his fight against DORNA.”

“We?”

“Yeah, sorry to break it to you, but don’t worry.  You’re still his favorite goody-two-shoes nerd.  He just thinks that you’ve been corrupted by my impulsive and stupid ways.  Probably thinks I emit an evil influence into the universe or whatever…I tune him out after a while,” Nikko replied, waving his hand dismissively before picking up the end of the trunk.

Calvin didn’t even know where to start with that mouthful.  On the one hand, Nikko had definitely been an influence on Calvin, but it wasn’t a bad one.  Calvin would never admit it, not even upon threats of death, but Nikko had made the whole team better, but especially Calvin.  On the other hand, they seemed to be back to where they were nine months ago when Nikko played the spoiled, abandoned brat to the hilt and didn’t see what was right in front of his face.  “Nikko,” Cal settled for saying and hoping his tone explained how much he cared even if he couldn’t find the words for it.

“We are not having a heart-to-heart.  We don’t…” Nikko paused and shook his head, focusing his gaze on the ground.  He muttered, “You and I aren’t share-and-care kind of guys.  We’re not going to have some deep talk, where I see the error of my ways and we hug it out in a cave.  I’m not quite that crazy yet.”

Calvin tapped his chest and said, “Why do you have to make everything into a fight?”

“Not even five minutes ago, you were complaining that I haven’t been myself and when I embrace my inner Calvin-annoys-me- _why-god-why_ feelings, you get pissed off.”

“I don’t know why I bother.”

“Me either.”

“It’s always about you,” Calvin snapped.

“Because everyone makes it that way! _You’re_ the one pressing me to talk about my feelings,” Nikko commented.

“Not once did I mention the word ‘feelings,’ and forget I said anything.  I already miss the peace and quiet; definitely not in the mood to listen to your teenage angst.  Save it for bad emo poetry,” Calvin retorted as he picked up the other end of the trunk and yanked them forward.

Nikko dug his heels in and Calvin would’ve been impressed by how strong he had gotten if he wasn’t already pissed off.  Calvin yanked on the trunk again and said, “Don’t start, Nikko.”

Nikko didn’t budge, his whole body rigid and tense.  He said, “We’re going the wrong way.  We should’ve gone to the left.”

“No, we needed to go right.”

“You said northwest.”

“Yeah and that’s…” Calvin craned his neck forward and to the right.  “…this way.”

“You’re wrong.  If we had gone the correct way, we would be there already.”

“You always think I’m wrong.”

“Because you’re usually wrong.”

“Shut up and move.  We’re almost there.”

Nikko didn’t budge and said, “If we’re such a team, maybe you should listen to me.  We went the wrong way.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

“Because you were yapping in my ear,” Nikko snapped.

“Nikko, I swear to God-“

Calvin never got the chance to finish his sentence because the caverns began to rattle and shake around them.   There was a loud rumbling, Nikko shouting something as a sink hole seemed to open up in front of them, and then a moment of almost deafening quiet.  Calvin tried to scramble backwards, but the ground shifted out from under him and he started to fall.  He heard Nikko holler out to him and he glanced over to see him with his hand outstretched like he might be able to reach Calvin. 

Calvin knew Nikko would try to get to him, but he was too far away.  Calvin attempted to wave him off, though it was more of a flailing of his arms, because he didn’t want Nikko jumping in after him.  Despite their current fight, Calvin knew Nikko would do whatever he could to protect Calvin just like he would do for Nikko.  Calvin shut his eyes and braced himself for a fall.  Except he didn’t hit anything – he didn’t seem to be moving at all.  As soon as his brain processed that, he felt like someone had a grip on his shirt and was tossing him through the air.  He slammed into the opposite wall, blacking out as all the breath rushed out of his chest.

When he came to, Nikko was slapping his cheek and then his hands were roaming down Cal’s body like he was checking for wounds. Calvin swatted his hand away as he groaned, trying not to think about the comfort he took in having Nikko touching him.  Nikko said, “Cal, I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but talk to me.  Where’s it hurt?”

Calvin started to sit up, but Nikko pressed his hand into Cal’s chest as the other wrapped around him.  “Take it slow.”

Calvin touched his forehead and when he pulled his fingers away he was bleeding.  He grimaced and asked, “How long was I out?”

“About a minute.  Sorry, Chuck, I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“How could this be your fault?” Cal asked, glancing around in confusion.  He had been pretty sure he was dead a minute ago.  His whole body ached from hitting the wall, but it just served as a reminder that he was still alive.

“Never mind.  You okay?  You don’t look too good.“

“How did I get over here? I was in the middle of that hole that opened up.”

“Uh, not exactly.  You were at the edge of it,” Nikko said, his eyes darting to the ground.

Calvin took a second to assess his injuries before trying to get his feet under him so he could stand up.  Maggie would’ve picked up on the seismic activity and alerted the others.  Solomon and Vincent would be coming soon.  He and Nikko just had to work together and pray another quake didn’t kill them. He pointed to Nikko and asked, “What about you?  Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine,” Nikko replied.  Whatever he saw in Cal’s expression, he squeezed Cal’s shoulder gently and said, “I’m good, I swear.  Worried about you.  I just reacted and didn’t mean for you to hit that wall.”

Cal replied, “You don’t need to apologize for saving my life, Nikko.”  Calvin patted down his pockets and of course his phone was broken.  He grunted as he shifted too quickly and asked, “Your phone working?”

Nikko waved it around and said, “Yeah, but there’s no signal at the moment.”

“Lucky us.”

Nikko was suddenly reaching out as Cal grabbed the wall and stood up.  Calvin flashed on Nikko doing that as the ground gave way beneath him.  Calvin was almost certain that Nikko never touched him, so he wasn’t sure how the kid yanked him back before he plummeted to the bottom.  Calvin placed his hand on Nikko’s shoulder and studied him.  Gone was the cockiness and typical bratty teenage behavior that Nikko excelled at and there was real concern and a bit of guilt that just didn’t make sense.  Nikko was a magnet for trouble, but this wasn’t his fault.  Cal slapped him lightly on the back and said, “I need your head here, Nikko.”

“Yeah.”

Cal arched an eyebrow and asked, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“You need to tell me if you’re not.  We’re in a bit of a predicament and your dad will kill me if-“

“I can take care of myself.”

Calvin rubbed the bridge of his nose and forced out a slow deliberate breath.  He said, “My head hurts too much to have this argument again.  We need to find a way out of here, or at least find a way to get word to the others.”

Nikko nudged Calvin gently in the side and pointed to a new opening in the cavern where a pillar had been unearthed.  It housed a dark blue crystal, encompassed inside an orb of some sort.  He said, “Do you think this was causing everything?”

“I have no idea what that is.” 

“I figured that’s what we were here for,” Nikko replied.

“Do you even listen when your dad does his briefings?”

Nikko rolled his eyes and said, “Well, it seems pretty powerful.  Maybe it reacted because we got too close.”

“Or it could be a piece of an ancient religious dish that got buried over the millennia.  We don’t know.”

“It’s not some random dish.  There’s energy coming off it in waves.”

Calvin rubbed his head, trying to clear his thoughts and focus, and said, “What are you talking about?”

“You can’t feel that?” Nikko replied.  He ducked his head and glanced at his hands, curling them into fists.  “I can’t explain it, but it’s strong.”

“You sure you didn’t hit your head too?” Calvin asked.

“I’m fine, Chuck.  I just think this thing wanted us to find it.”

“Please tell me the crystal isn’t talking to you,” Calvin stated, feeling a surge of protectiveness rise to the surface.  He had no idea what they were dealing with, felt slightly over-his-head and aching everywhere, but he couldn’t let anything happen to Nikko. Just the thought of it filled him with dread.

Nikko shot Calvin a look and said, “Yeah, it’s telling me you’re a weirdo with a bad haircut.”

Calvin couldn’t help the small smile and said, “Well, you’re fine, so that’s a plus.”  Calvin stepped a little closer to the pillar, trying to get a good look at the whole thing without touching it.  The trunk was gone and, until they could do a scan, he didn’t want to risk bringing the whole cave down on top of them.  There were small etchings in the orb with symbols he couldn’t make out.  He scratched his head, grimacing when he touched a wound, and said, “I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

“You really don’t feel that?  It’s like the air is crackling,” Nikko replied.  He pointed to it and said, “It’s definitely powerful.”

Calvin eyed him over wearily and asked, “Something you need to tell me?”

“I’m not crazy,” Nikko muttered.

“I didn’t say you were.  Something caused those tremors, so you could be right and it was this thing. But it worries me that it’s locked onto you somehow,” Calvin responded.

Nikko shifted slightly on his feet, looking torn.  Cal fixed him with a steady stare and Nikko said, “It can’t be a coincidence that it gets unearthed after that huge cave in right as we passed by.”

“Maybe not,” Cal replied.  Nikko moved to walk toward it, but Calvin grabbed his hand, stopping him before Nikko could grab a hold of it, and said, “Let’s wait a second and think this through.  The whole thing could be booby trapped or something.”

A second later the blue orb was in Nikko’s other hand.  Calvin was going to murder him for picking it up when it dawned on him that Nikko hadn’t moved.  When he fixed his gaze on Nikko, he looked slightly stunned, like he wasn’t expecting it either. 

“What just happened?” Calvin replied.

Before Nikko could respond, a brilliant flash of light shot out of the crystal and engulfed them. Calvin felt like his whole body was on fire and it made the pain he was already feeling from hitting a wall seem like nothing.  He had never been electrocuted, but he was pretty sure it would hurt less than whatever the pain was that was coursing through him.  Liquid fire in his veins and from the sound of Nikko crying out next to him, he was in just as much pain.

Calvin must have blacked out again –acting as further proof that if he was sane, he would find a different line of work, preferably one that didn’t involve an annoying teenage pain in the ass that had come to matter more to Calvin than he wanted to think about. 

Cal groaned, but it didn’t sound right to his ears.  He opened his eyes and immediately noticed Nikko in a small heap on the floor next to him.  Except…

“What the hell was that?” Nikko grumbled, shifting slightly.  He seemed to freeze and glanced over at Calvin.  He pointed, let out a groan and stared down at himself.  He said, “No.  No way.”

“Shit,” Calvin responded.

“Did that thing just Freaky Friday us?”

“I told you not to touch it,” Calvin said.  He stretched out his arms and said, “When the hell did you get taller?”  Cal scratched Nikko’s face, which he was somehow wearing, and said, “And is that stubble?”

“Shut up and stop messing with my body.  I want it back,” Nikko replied.  He stood up and let out a hiss, leaning over and clutching his side.  He said, “Holy shit.  _Ow._   You were definitely not okay, Cal, you liar.  It hurts everywhere.  I think getting shot hurt less than this.”

“I was thrown into a rock wall.  It was gonna hurt.  Sue me for trying not to worry you when there was nothing you could do about it,” Cal retorted.

“It’s because you’re old and not nearly as young and spry as I am.”

“I’m twenty-three.  That’s not old…and technically, I’m the one who’s young and spry now,” Calvin remarked.

Nikko stood up and patted Cal’s body down, like he wasn’t sure what to make of any of it.  Cal got the feeling, but it was way too bizarre to watch.  Calvin still felt like himself, but he didn’t sound or look like it.  How the hell were they going to fix this?  Would anyone even believe them?  Nikko shot a helpless look at Calvin and said, “Please tell me this didn’t actually happen. I was handsome.  I had piercing blue eyes that saw into people’s souls and got me dates.”

“Gee, thanks, Nikko.  I appreciate the dig about my looks in the middle of this mess,” Calvin replied and it was unnerving to hear his words in Nikko’s voice.

“Oh please.  Your looks are fine.”

Calvin shot him a look and Nikko ducked his head.  Calvin watched his body blush.  He hadn’t blushed in years and it was unnerving to see it happening now.  He said, “I mean, you’re not…I don’t think you’re particularly…” Calvin snorted as Nikko stuttered and said, “…why don’t you focus on fixing this?  I want my body back.”

“I don’t exactly want to be a teenager again, Nikko.”

“You?  I’m suddenly a twenty-something nerd and…” Nikko paused and Calvin thought it was more than a little disconcerting to watch Nikko continue to touch himself in Cal’s body.  He kept running his hands up and down his chest and legs and even more distressing was the way something inside Cal’s brain nearly short-circuited at the thought of it.

“What’s wrong?  You hurt?  Or am I?  Not sure how this works,” Calvin replied.

“Yeah, you’re hurt.  Hence the reason I said ‘Ow’ and ‘it hurts everywhere’.”

Calvin glared.  “Did the crystal hurt you more?”

“It stole my body!” Nikko replied.  His hand rubbed over Cal’s stomach and he said, “You’ve got abs?”

“You really doing this?”

“Muscles.  Actual muscles.  I always assumed your idea of exercise was picking up your laptop.  How is this possible?”

“Nikko, I will throw myself into that sinkhole.”

“I was complimenting you, Cal,” Nikko replied.  Nikko, in Cal’s body, examined Cal’s hands and said, “Still not as handsome as me, but not everyone wins the genetic lottery like I did.”

“Enough!” Calvin snapped.  He noticed the blue orb was back on the pillar and he said, “That thing switched us, so hopefully it can fix it.”  Nikko started to move toward it and Calvin hollered, “Don’t go near it.  Not yet.  We need a plan.”

“My plan is to grab that thing and force it to fix us.”

Calvin reached out for Nikko, but Calvin wasn’t going to be able to get to him in time and then suddenly, everything slowed down, a loud humming noise came into his head and he somehow pulled Nikko to him, sending them colliding into each other and hitting the ground.

“Oh shit,” Nikko replied, hopping up.  He folded his arms protectively across his chest and said, “Shit.”

Cal sat up.  Beyond the sound of Nikko’s boots echoing off the walls as he paced the small area in front of them, the humming had grown louder.  While it seemed to be coming from the object, it was also all around him.  It was like being too close to the speakers at a concert and Cal could feel it thumping through Nikko’s body.

Things suddenly fell into place for Cal and he pushed himself completely off the ground.  He grabbed a hold of Nikko and it was slightly startling to be able to see Nikko in his own gaze looking back at him.  He questioned, “The castle?”

“I don’t know.  It just started happening and there’s no real rhyme or reason to it.  Chuck, you can’t tell my Dad.  He’d lose it.”

“But it started after the castle?”  Calvin questioned.  Nikko shrugged and Calvin motioned to the sinkhole.  He said, “I was falling and you stopped it.  You sent me flying into the wall.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose!”

Cal held up his hands and said, “Hey, not complaining.  You saved my life.”

“I can’t control it.  I’ve been trying, but it’s not something I can turn off-and-on and, when I’ve tried, it usually gets messy.”

“Nikko, why didn’t you say anything?  This is kind of our area of expertise.  Your dad, Maggie, me…we could’ve figured it out.”

“What exactly is there to figure out?  That I’m a freak?  Give my dad an excuse to send me away again?  No thanks.  I’ve got it covered.”

“But you don’t.  You didn’t touch that crystal, but it ended up in your hands, and now look at us,” Calvin replied.

Nikko leaned against the wall and pointed it to it.  “It wanted us to find it.”

“Nikko…” Calvin started to argue, but he could suddenly understand what Nikko meant.  Not with words or a vision, but a niggling in the back of his mind that simply appeared and his eyes darted over to the crystal.  He said, “Holy shit.”

He moved toward it and said, “I know what this does.  It was some weird Atlantian myth about the ability for a crystal to help couples better understand each other.”

“Couples?”

“How the hell did it get in a cave in Utah?” Calvin questioned, choosing to overlook the whole couple thing.  He could deal with that mess once they had gotten back into their own bodies.

“Because this is us and we have the worst luck in the world?”

Cal focused his attention back on Nikko and said, “I think you’re right.  It chose us.”

“Because we’re a couple that needs to understand each other?” Nikko replied incredulously.  Nikko motioned between them and said, “Last time I checked, we weren’t a couple, Chuck.  We’re barely friends.”

Calvin stepped closer to him and said, “You really think that?”

“Cal…”

“Of course we’re friends.  You’re probably my best friend.”

Nikko stared at him with a befuddled expression and said, “Doesn’t speak very highly of your ability to make friends.”

“You’re not exactly overflowing in the friend department either.”

“So we’re stuck together because no one else wants us.  Got it,” Nikko replied.  He shook his head and offered Calvin an apologetic smile.  “Thought I was more like the little brother you never wanted.”

“Started out that way, but we’re friends, Nikko.  You’re a pain in the ass, drive me crazy like no one in the world ever has before, but I know you’ve got my back.  Even in the middle of a drag-out fight, if push came to shove, I know you’d help me.  And that works both ways, okay?  Nothing I wouldn’t do for you.  Thought you knew that by now,” Calvin replied.

“You were gonna leave,” Nikko muttered, sliding to the ground and lifting his knees to his chest.

Calvin felt the sting of guilt and sighed while he attempted to collect his thoughts.  He asked, “How did you know about that?”

“I overheard you and Maggie talking.  If we’re such great friends, why didn’t you say anything to me?”

Cal sat down next to Nikko, still finding it unnerving to be looking at his own body from outside of it.  He still felt like himself, but not quite, and he wasn’t sure what to think of the weird understanding and clarity he was feeling toward Nikko at the moment.  He leaned his head back against the stones supporting them and said, “You would’ve baited me into a fight and I would’ve stayed just to prove you wrong.   I knew that would end in disaster; can’t do this job if your heart’s not in it.  Someone will get hurt.”

“But you stayed.”

“Yeah, because I wanted to.  I remembered how important this was to me and how much I love our team.  I realized that a lot of the sacrifices we have to make are worth it,” Calvin explained.  He nudged Nikko in the side, careful not to further exacerbate his injuries, and asked, “Is that why you didn’t come to me with this?  Because I thought you knew by now that you could trust me.”

“I do know that,” Nikko replied.  His eyes darted over to Calvin briefly before focusing on the ceiling and he added softly, “You’re my best friend too.”

Cal couldn’t help but smile.  He was pretty sure this was the most honest the two of them had been with each other since they met.  They should have talked sooner and Cal wished it hadn’t taken so long to come to an understanding.  Nikko could just be so stubborn and Cal wasn’t much better.  He hadn’t wanted deal with trying to understand why Nikko affected him so much.

“I wanted to ignore it.  I hoped maybe it was a one-time thing, but it kept randomly happening,” Nikko revealed.

“I can understand that, but this is serious, Nicky.  You shouldn’t be keeping this to yourself.  What if these abilities are hurting you?  What if it presented itself at the wrong time and got you killed?”  Calvin clasped his hands together and took a deep breath, trying not to even give life to that thought.  If someone had told him that the bratty kid who asked if his dad was Batman would become so important to him, he would have prepared a dissertation on how that would never be possible.  But he couldn’t imagine anything happening to Nikko, not while he was still around, and he wanted to smack some sense into Nikko for not knowing that.  When Nikko didn’t say anything, Calvin asked, “If you didn’t feel comfortable talking to me, why not Vincent?  Or Juliet for that matter?  It was stupid not to say something.”

He glanced up at Cal and said, “You were leaving, Cal.”  Cal was ready to respond and Nikko got louder, “And I got it.  I know you went through hell and I didn’t blame you, but it was just further proof that everyone around me leaves eventually.  Why help it along?”

“Nikko-“

“-I know what a nuisance I can be and I’m not good at letting people in, which is probably why my best friends are you and a the guy that gives new meaning to Zen master.  I was finally settling in here and I didn’t see a reason to risk getting sent off to military school.  I could only imagine what would happen if I unleashed this mess of ‘dad, I think I’m a mutant’ on everyone.  Juliet would have lost her mind and rushed off to blab to my dad.  Vincent probably wouldn’t react at all, but he’d tell my dad all the same.  You might’ve kept it to yourself, but you had enough going on and why add to it?”

“Would telling your father really be so bad?”

“Are you kidding?  You’ve met the man, right?  It was hard enough trying to process it without adding my Dad to the mix.”

“He loves you.”

“Yeah,” Nikko replied.  Cal leveled him with a look.  Nikko shrugged and said, “I know he loves me.  He’s shit at showing it sometimes, but so am I and he’s been trying…but he’s not…”  Nikko let out a slow breath and met Cal’s gaze.  He said, “Thing is, I know how much you think of him like a dad-“

“-I don’t-“

“-and hell, maybe he’s what a guy like you needs.  Maybe he has been a great father figure to you, and maybe I hated you a little for that because that’s not my history with him.   He wasn’t much of a father to me when I was a kid.”

“Nikko…”

“It’s true.  I get now that he wanted to protect me, but he wasn’t around.  I was seven years old, my mother had just died, and he left me in a boarding school without explaining anything.  I thought I had done something wrong.  I thought he blamed me for what happened to my mom.”

“How could that have been your fault?  You were a little kid.”

Nikko sighed and said, “What else was I supposed to think?  He never really talked to me about anything.  One day he was always there and then he was gone.  Only time I seemed to get his attention was when I got kicked out of school.”

Calvin felt a lot of things fall into place.  Cal couldn’t deny that he saw Solomon as a mentor and father-figure, pictured what his life might have been like to have a father as smart and good as Doctor Zond was.  But Nikko spent years never seeing that side to the man.   He glanced over at Nikko and said, “My dad took off when I was five.”

“What?”

“My mom wasn’t much better, but at least she stuck around.  Only thing I had going for me was that I was smarter than everyone around me.  I sometimes rely on that a little too much.”

“Is your mom-“

“-still alive.  In Las Vegas last time I talked to her, which is usually only when she needs money,” Calvin admitted, wondering what the hell he was thinking sharing this stuff.  It wasn’t that he thought Nikko would throw it back in his face – their fights tended to go in more juvenile directions – but he hadn’t really talked about his family with anyone before.

“Sucks, man,” Nikko said, but there was no pity in his voice.  He placed his palms on the ground and said, “You would’ve liked my mom.  She was the best.”

“She’s definitely a legend in this field.”

Nikko shook his head and said, “Not talking about that stuff.  She had the best laugh and she always pretended to think my lame jokes were funny.  I would talk about wanting to be a police officer on Mars and she would tell me I could do whatever I wanted.  She made the best chocolate chip cookies in the world, but most of the time, she and I just ate the batter and talked about books.”

“Police officer on Mars?”

“It sounded cool,” Nikko replied.  They sat in silence for a bit and then Nikko turned to look at him.  He said, “You’re going to tell my dad.”

Calvin knew he should, but he also couldn’t stand that look on Nikko’s face.  He decided to ignore it for the time being and focus on the problem at hand.  He slapped Nikko’s borrowed leg and said, “Right now the priority is getting back into our bodies.  I’m somewhat attached to mine after twenty-three years.”

“Jesus, I’m an old man.”

Cal snorted and said, “Yeah.  I’ll remind you that you said that in another five years.”

Nikko smirked and said, “Right, but you’ll be even older.  Just the circle of life, Cal.”

Cal hopped up and held out his hand to help Nikko up.  He grunted and rubbed his ribs.  He said, “You – or is it me – need to see a doctor.  These ribs hurt like a bitch.”

Cal furrowed his brow and asked, “You gonna be okay until we fix this?”

“I’ve dealt with worse, just in a better body,” Nikko replied light-heartedly.

Cal walked over to the pillar, signaling for Nikko to follow him, and said, “I think it should change us back.”

“Really?  How?”

“It’s not something that’s supposed to be permanent.  It’s only supposed to last long enough for the couple to learn what they need to about each other.”

“And that’s what we did?”

“I think so.”

“Okay, I can buy that part, but not to put a damper on things, you and I aren’t a-“

“-just work with me here,” Calvin said.

“Fine.”

“Really?”

“I’ve got no better ideas.  So sure.  I’ll be your boyfriend if it gets me back into my body,” Nikko said.  He winked, which was disconcerting on various levels, and added, “You’re not so bad, Chuck.  I can see why the ladies like you.”

“You’re a real jackass,” Calvin said, but smiled at Nikko, who grinned in response.

Cal latched onto Nikko’s arm with one hand and reached out toward the crystal.  Before he could reach it, it flew across the small distance and landed in his hand.  It was a weird sensation, but Cal didn’t get a sense of wrong, leaving him feeling slightly better about Nikko’s abilities.  This time, as he came in contact with the orb, there was no pain, just a slight itching sensation.  It only lasted a few seconds, but everything seemed to slow down before the room began to spin so fast that he couldn’t concentrate.

When it stopped moving, he was looking at Nikko from back in his own body.  Nikko listed slightly on his feet and Calvin reached out to steady him before he fell into the pit only to notice the pit was gone.  When he turned back to where the pillar had been, it was nothing but rock.  He said, “I think I hit my head harder than I thought.”

Nikko opened his eyes and glanced around, his eyes widening.  He pointed to the trunk and said, “That fell when the place started to shake and the ground gave way.”

“Well, it’s back, and so is the ground.”

“Maybe someone drugged us?  Maybe we were hallucinating?”

“You think we had a joint hallucination of being trapped in each other’s bodies?”

“Kinda hoping,” Nikko replied.  He glanced around and said, “The buzzing sensation is gone.  It’s like it was never even there.”

“Part of those mutant powers?”

Nikko crossed his arms protectively over his chest and said, “You’re going to tell my dad, aren’t you?”

“No.  I think you should.  I think he’d like to help you with it.”

“You’re really not going to say anything?”

“Against my better judgment because we’re friends and I want you to know you can trust me,” Cal said, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the small voice in the back of his head that felt like that wasn’t quite right.  He wasn’t sure what had transpired between him and Nikko, but Calvin felt closer to him in a way that left him unsure how to proceed.  But he wouldn’t let Nikko pick up on that.  Nikko would think it was something else and they had actually made some real progress today.

Nikko grinned and said, “Just to warn you – I can be a bit of a shitty friend.  Or so I was told by every single one of my roommates at my various schools.”

“It was their loss,” Calvin said.

“Nikko?  Cal?” a voice shouted.

“Dad?” Nikko called out.

Solomon came rushing into the area and looked them both over.  He said, “There was a weird reading, but it flickered out pretty quickly.  The two of you okay?”

“Cal’s ribs and head probably need to be looked at,” Nikko stated.

“Actually, I’m fine,” Calvin said, realizing that there was no pain at all.  He glanced down and all of the cuts were gone too.  He touched his head and there was no welt or gash.  He held up his hand to show it off to Nikko, who tried not to react.

Solomon glanced between them suspiciously and replied, “Boys, if you’re hurt, I need to know.  We can revisit this site tomorrow.”

“I thought you had to-“

Solomon cut Nikko off and said, “The two of you are more important than doing a favor for this excavator.  It can at least wait another day while we figure out what happened down here.”

“Sure thing, Dad,” Nikko replied.  He slapped Cal on the back as he passed by and said, “Since you’re fine and I’m emotionally spent, I think you guys can carry the trunk, right?”

Calvin rolled his eyes and said, “Yeah, he’s fine.”

“Nikko!” Solomon called out.  He sighed and turned to look Calvin over.  He asked, “You sure you’re okay?”

“I’m good.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing really.  Place shook like hell, thought we were in trouble, but it all worked out.

Solomon gave him an appraising stare and Calvin forced himself to meet it.  He had meant what he said to Nikko.  He wouldn’t say anything, even if he thought it would be better for Doctor Zond to know what was going on.  It wasn’t his secret to tell and from what Calvin had experienced, it wasn’t hurting Nikko.  It seemed to actually help him.

“He seems more like himself, so thank you for that.”

“What?”

“I appreciate you being a friend to him.  You and Juliet are the closest thing he has to peers and I worry about that.”

Calvin wasn't sure he wanted to think about how he was feeling about Nikko at the moment.  While he was grateful that he and Nikko had appeared to come to an understanding of sorts, Cal couldn't deny the sudden protectiveness he was feeling toward the kid.  And he was a kid, even if he was thrown into an adult world, and Cal needed to remember that.  Cal shrugged and said, “It’s fine.  He’s part of the team, Doctor Zond.  We’ll take care of him.”

Solomon smiled at him, like he knew something Calvin didn’t, and said, “Sure.”  Solomon picked up an end of the trunk and said, “We should at least move it to the right tunnel so we can get an early start in the morning.”

“This is—“

“-not northwest.”

“I’m never going to hear the end of it,” Cal muttered.


	2. A glimpse in the future

Calvin noticed Nikko come out of the bathroom, wander around the beds, go back into the bathroom, and then come back out again.  He watched it three different times before he cleared his throat and said, “Can I help you with something?”

“We should go for a walk.”

“Your dad said no one is to leave their rooms tonight, not until he and Vincent have dealt with that DORNA operative.”

“It’s a walk, Chuck.”

“We’re not scoping out the art gallery, Nikko.  Your dad was clear about how we were not to do anything stupid and that was very much directed at you and me,” Cal replied.  He glanced up from his book and added, “Mostly at you.”

“We don’t have to go anywhere near the art gallery.  I’m just feeling claustrophobic being stuck in here.”

“Sit down and read a book or something.”

“A book?  I say that I yearn for freedom and you offer me a book.”

Calvin tapped his temple and said, “Escape through your imagination.”

Nikko snorted and said, “Okay, Mr. Reading Rainbow.  Sure.”  He sat on the edge of Cal’s bed and tapped his foot.  He went on, “C’mon, Cal.  I’m so bored and I need to be entertained.  I actually finished all of my assignments for Juliet and I think she thought I might be a possessed.”

“Your brain is a scary place,” Cal responded.

“Says the man that listens to the Spice Girls,” Nikko retorted.

“Didn’t Vincent want you to focus more on your meditations?”

“Yeah, but it’s boring.”

“Isn’t that kind of the point?  To clear your mind?  It might help you with your abilities.”

“Why do you always have to bring that up?”

“Because we should be trying to figure out what caused it.  Make sure it’s not doing something to you that’s life threatening,” Cal replied.  He didn’t want to have the same fight with Nikko again and he tried not to let it show exactly how worried he was about it.  He knew how freaked out Nikko was about this sudden appearance of powers and Calvin didn’t want to add to that. 

“I’m fine.  Perfectly healthy.”

“We’d all like you stay that way.  That’s all I’m saying, man,” Calvin replied.

Nikko flopped down onto the bed, ignoring Cal’s personal space, and folded his arms under his head.  He sighed dramatically and said, “C’mon Chuck.  It doesn’t have to be a long walk.”

“Your dad-“

“-it’s a walk,” Nikko replied.  He turned slightly and jabbed two fingers into Cal’s ribs.  Calvin glared at him and Nikko said, “Cal…Cal…”

Nikko looked ready to jab Calvin again, so Cal grabbed his fingers and said, “Stop it.”

Nikko gave him a shit-eating grin and said, “We both know I’m gonna annoy you until you agree to come with me, so why not spare us both the pain?”

“I regret you,” Calvin said, putting down his book.  He shook his head and said, “I don’t know why I’m always the one sharing a room with you.”

“Because we’re besties for life and my dad gets sick of me.”

Calvin rolled his eyes and said, “That’s right.  Lucky me.”

Calvin wasn’t about to admit that he enjoyed having Nikko close by.  In the past seven months, since the incident in the caverns, he and Nikko had fallen into a nice routine.  They still fought because Nikko was too annoying and he was too stubborn for them not to get into plenty of arguments, but the harshness was gone from it.  There were still moments where Calvin felt like Nikko saw him as some sort of competition for his Dad’s attention and Cal had to work hard to not be that guy, but overall, things were good.

Things were almost too good.

Calvin found himself thinking about Nikko in a way that wasn’t healthy for either of them, especially since Nikko seemed to be picking up on it and kept pushing things further.  For all that Nikko liked to act like he was clueless, he was almost as astute as Vincent, noticing things that most people missed.  Calvin had caught Nikko looking at him with a strange expression a few times recently and it was making it harder for Calvin to shove the unwanted feelings aside.  He couldn’t be positive, but he was pretty sure that Nikko wouldn’t protest any advances.

_Epically bad idea_ , Cal reminded himself.  He stood up and stretched out, shaking his head in fake annoyance.  Nikko simply grinned, knowing he was getting his way, and held out his hand, wiggling it in the air for assistance.  Calvin sighed in frustration, but tugged Nikko up off the bed. 

Nikko patted him on the chest and said, “Thanks, Chuck. Knew you would see it my way.”

“You’re my punishment on earth,” Cal commented.

Nikko grinned before rushing out the door and into the hallway.  Calvin patted his pocket to make sure he had the key to their hotel room, knowing Nikko never remembered, and jogged to catch up with him.  He said, “A quick walk and then we crash.  We’ll likely have a long day tomorrow.”

“Yeah, sure.”

They walked in silence down the hotel hallway and Calvin could feel Nikko’s eyes burning a hole into the side of his head but whenever Cal looked over, Nikko shifted his gaze elsewhere.  Calvin stopped by the stairs and ordered, “Okay, spill.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Nikko.  You’ve got that look on your face and something’s off, so tell me.”

“Didn’t know you paid that much attention to my looks, Cal,” Nikko replied, taking the stairs two at time.

“You’re gonna fall and then I’m gonna have to carry your ass back to the room,” Cal said, following after him.  He grabbed Nikko’s shoulder as he came down the last step and went on, “And stop deflecting.  Something’s going on.  We live out of each other’s pockets, Nikko, and I know when something’s off with you.”

Nikko nodded, but didn’t say anything.  Calvin didn’t mind the quiet normally, but there was something going on and Nikko usually didn’t shut up.  Calvin squeezed Nikko’s shoulder and said, “You know you can talk to me.”

Nikko sighed as he opened the door from the stairwell to the hotel lobby.  He glanced over at Cal and said, “It’s not really a big deal.  Just trying to figure some stuff out.”

“Such as?”

“Juliet and I were talking about college again.  I’m pretty sure my dad put her up to it.  Keeps reminding me that I need to make a decision soon,” Nikko said, kicking at a rock on the ground as they walked out onto the hotel’s grounds.  He took a deep breath and said, “I got into Princeton.  I was hoping I wouldn’t.”

“Why?”

“To avoid the current mess I’m in.  I really didn’t expect to get in, but I guess they had to take me because of my dad.”

“I’m sure it helped, but I think your abilities had something to do with it,” Calvin said.  He had been trying really hard not to think too much about Nikko and college.  It would be weird not to have Nikko around all the time.  If you had told him two years ago that he would’ve grown so damn attached to the punk kid that came strolling into Veritas, he would’ve laughed.  Now it was hard to imagine going days without Nikko’s commentary or not being able to turn around and know that Nikko was there in the thick of it with them.  Cal pushed that down and added, “College was one of the best times of my life.  It was hard because I was younger than almost everyone, but I liked it.”

“Such a nerd,” Nikko said, but there was only affection in his tone that caused Cal’s gut to twist slightly.  Nikko stopped walking and said, “Thing is?  I don’t want to go to Princeton.”

“Did you tell your dad that?”

“Not in so many words.”

“Nikko…”

“Princeton screwed me, Cal.  They were supposed to reject me so my dad and I could have the usual ‘you don’t live up to your potential’ fight, but now it’s going to be a thing.  I’ve liked the peace between us recently, so I’m putting it off.”

“He won’t care, Nikko,” Cal replied.  Nikko laughed and Cal corrected, “Okay, he’ll care, but he’ll get over it and support wherever you want to go.  He’ll probably mostly be pissed because you’d get a free ride at Princeton since he’s technically still on faculty.”

“I guess.”

“Where do you want to go?”

“I applied to four schools and got into them all, which I was not expecting.”

Cal said, “Somehow I doubt that.  Which of the other three are you leaning toward?”

“Stanford’s pretty far away and I mostly applied there to see if I would get in because Juliet didn’t – something about bombing her interview.  I had so much fun reading her that acceptance letter over and over again.”

Calvin laughed, wishing he had seen that, and Nikko quickened his step, turning around so that he was facing Calvin and walking backwards.  He said, “I’m leaning toward NYU or Columbia, depending on what I decide to do.”

Calvin hated the way he felt a part of him relax slightly.  He could admit that he had pictured Nikko choosing some college in Hawaii or California where he and Cal would never see each other.  He had grown used to having Nikko around, a partner in crime and someone to pull him out of his head.  He couldn’t deny he was hopeful at the prospect of Nikko staying in New York.  

It probably would’ve been better for everyone involved though as Cal was in way over his head at this point.  Calvin was starting to think of Nikko in terms that weren’t realistic.  There were emotions that went beyond just-like-a-brother and best friend and Calvin couldn’t help himself from noticing all the ways that Nikko had matured recently or the feelings it stirred up in him – pride, frustration, love.   Calvin could see why so many girls and guys seemed to fall prey to his charms.

It wasn’t supposed to be him though.  Nikko had only just turned eighteen and while the age difference wasn’t huge, it still seemed too young to Calvin.  Nikko was just about to start out on his own, didn’t need the past shackling him down and Cal doubted they would want the same things from a relationship.

Relationship…Calvin couldn’t even let himself consider that.  It would be a mess.  Nikko was the son of his boss, a man who took protective to new levels, and there were so many reasons that these urges he was having were nothing but trouble.  He was a responsible adult.  He could control himself and behave that way, even when Nikko glanced over at him with a dopey smile that nearly bowled him over.

As if he could read Calvin’s mind – _and please not let that be one of Nikko’s burgeoning abilities_ – Nikko’s lips quirked up in a smile.  He said, “You’re totally glad I’m going to stay close by.”

“Shut up.”

“It hurts too much thinking about how much you’ll miss me if I go to California,” Nikko teased.  He slapped Calvin on the chest and added, “Don’t worry.  I’d let you Skype me with sad songs playing in the background as you wax poetically about my eyes.”

“I think I’d get over it somehow.”

Nikko stopped walking and clutched his chest.  “You wound me.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re devastated,” Calvin quipped.  “And I’d hope I wasn’t a reason you’d stay in New York.”

Nikko rolled his eyes, but started to walk off again.  Calvin sighed and grabbed a hold of Nikko’s arm, stopping him, and said, “Nikko, you should go to the school that you want and not worry about anything else.  That’s all I’m saying.  The rest of us will still be here when you get back.”  Nikko remained quiet and Calvin added, “I figured you’d want to get away from us.”

“Why?”

“You keep saying you don’t want to do this for the rest of your life.”

“Because I don’t, but that doesn’t mean I want to abandon everyone.”

“No one thinks you’re abandoning us by going to college.”

“Maybe I don’t want…” Nikko stopped abruptly and ducked his head. 

Cal tried to wait for Nikko to continue, but he didn’t say anything and Cal was quickly losing his patience.  He was a problem-solver and he hated it when Nikko got that lost look on his face, like no one could help him, especially when it was there for no reason.  Cal tightened his grip on Nikko’s arm and hauled him closer, waiting until Nikko looked up.  Calvin said, “You don’t want what?”

“I finally feel like I belong somewhere.  Juliet is the hot older sister I never wanted.  Maggie always listens to me vent and then slaps me on the back of the head.  Vincent is Vincent and our relationship is weird, but he teaches me a lot and I like it.  My dad has stopped treating me like a helpless baby and we’re in a pretty good place.  And you’re one of the few friends I’ve ever had.  I don’t want to lose those things.  I remember all too well what it’s like to be alone and I hated it.”

“Nikko…”

“Whatever, it’s stupid.”

“You’re not alone, man.  You barged into Veritas and wrapped everyone around your finger.”

“Everyone?” Nikko replied, eyebrows gleaming with amusement.

“Not me.  I’m immune to your charm.”

“You can admit you like me, Chuck.  The world will not implode.”

“You know what?  I was about to say something amazing and uplifting.  Now you don’t deserve it.”

“I heart you too, Cal.”

Cal tried to respond, but it came out as more of a stutter and he started off down the path again.  Nikko jogged to catch up with him and they walked in silence.  Whenever Nikko started to say something, Cal shot him a dirty look.  There was a slight chance that Calvin was overreacting.  He knew he was being an ass, but the more he thought about the way things were about to change, the more he wanted things to stay the same.   He didn’t want Nikko to go away, stuck watching from the sidelines as Nikko outgrew the rest of them.

“Cal…” Nikko whined.  Cal glared at him and Nikko continued, “Cal, don’t ignore me.  I’m sorry.  You know I don’t do well with emotions most of the time.  I’m a broken, black hole of pain and angst.”

Calvin rolled his eyes and said, “You’re an idiot.”  Calvin stopped abruptly and turned to look at him.  He could see the vulnerability that Nikko tried to hide from everyone and Calvin felt a protective urge to wrap his arms around Nikko and promise him it would all be okay.  Except given their lives, it felt like a bit of a lie, so he decided to go with what he did know.  He said, “No matter what, no one is going to forget you and, there is no way anyone could replace you.  Even if you decided to move to the other end of the globe, you’d still be a part of the team.”

“What about outer space?”

“I was just saying…”

“How about a different galaxy?”

“Why do I bother?”

Nikko grinned and said, “I appreciate the thought and I think I knew that deep down, but I like living in New York.  Besides, I spent years living in dorms, and it’s not that fun.  Figure I could still live with my dad and work with you guys sometimes if I stay local.  I like both of the schools and a part of me wants to study acting at NYU just to watch my father’s head explode.”

Calvin let out a guffaw picturing that conversation.  Vincent would likely have to drag Solomon off for whatever the hell Vincent did to calm the man down after that one.  Calvin said, “So no archeology?  Even though-“

“-even though it’s the family business?”

“Even though it’s what we’re doing now,” Calvin corrected.

“When I first found out what my dad did, I mostly tried to get involved to avoid being sent to military school and then to feel a little closer to my mom by understanding what she had been working on.  My mom took me to an excavation when I was four.  They probably took me earlier than that, but that’s the first one I remember.  Dig sites and stupid old bones are things I grew up around – it’s oddly comforting.  I like helping the team now, but it’s not really my passion and I can’t see doing it for the rest of my life,” Nikko replied.  He shook his head and added, “And I can admit that I still have some anger and bitterness about it too.”

“You’re good at it.”

“It killed you a little bit to admit that,” Nikko commented.

Calvin shook his hand side-to-side and said, “A little.”

Nikko clasped his hands together and said, “It’s hard to explain. The stuff we’re doing now?  It’s really cool.  I see the purpose in it and I like being a part of the team, helping my dad out, getting to know him better.  But I see what it does to all of you, the sacrifices you’re making.  My mom and my dad were so caught up in history and what came before, it was like they were always missing out on what was happening right in front of their faces.  And whatever, it’s who they are, but I don’t want to wake up one day and realize that my life passed me by.  And sure, I could probably find a better balance than my Dad, but there are other things I want more.  I think I’d like to have a family someday and I want them to have the stability that I never did.  It’s just…I don’t know.  I love my dad.  I know he did the best he could, but it still sucked growing up that way.”

“It would be weird not to have you around,” Calvin admitted.

Nikko shrugged and said, “You saying you’d miss me?”

Calvin rolled his eyes and said, “And the moment is gone.”

Nikko leaned in close to him, eyeing him over in a way that was reminiscent of Vincent, like he could see Cal’s every thought.  Nikko’s smile turned tender and he asked softly, “That was this was?  _A moment_?”

Calvin cleared his throat, unable to stop himself from leaning in closer too, and said, “I don’t know.”

“I like having moments with you, Chuck.”

“Nikko,” Calvin warned. 

“I’d miss you too,” Nikko said, inching closer until there was barely any space between them and it would be so easy for Calvin to kiss that stupid smirk off his face.

Calvin placed his hands on Nikko’s chest and pushed him lightly in an attempt to create some distance between them, but feeling the familiar thrum of Nikko’s heartbeat created a wave of protectiveness in Calvin.  He wanted to wrap his arms around him and hold on.  There was this charge in the air like this was one of those moments that could define things, like he would look back on his life and remember this walk with Nikko.  He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts, but Nikko’s gaze was warm and he looked calm and happy.  It caused Calvin’s brain to freeze – all words long gone from his mind – and he found himself grabbing a handful of Nikko’s shirt. 

Thank god he caught himself right before he did anything stupid.  Cal stepped back slightly and ran his hand over his face with his free hand.  Cal sighed and said, “We can’t.”

“Why?”

Calvin opened his eyes and there was no anger on Nikko’s face, which just made it harder.  Calvin stated, “There are so many reasons that this is an extremely bad idea, so whatever this is right now, it needs to stop.”  Nikko looked down at where Calvin still had a handful of Nikko’s shirt and gave him a significant look.  Cal immediately pulled away and said, “Don’t start, Nikko.  We’ve been in a good place lately.”

“A really good place one might say.”

“I care about you, but this can’t happen.”

“So you said, but _you’re_ the one touching me and giving me looks and going on about how you’d miss me if I weren’t around,” Nikko replied.  His eyes narrowed like he was ready for a fight and Cal wasn’t really in the mood, but he realized that Nikko was no longer focused on him.  He tugged on Cal’s jacket and motioned behind Calvin.  He said, “That’s so not good.”

“What?” Cal replied, glancing around the area.

“I think the bad guys found a way to get that Peruvian Crystal thing out of the art gallery,” Nikko stated, pointing to a bright red light that was flickering in and out along the path, followed by not-so-hushed whispers.

Calvin pulled Nikko off the path so that they were hidden by the trees but could still get a glimpse of what was going on.  Everyone at DORNA knew who they were by now and Calvin had overheard Vincent and Solomon talking enough to know that the organization had a weird interest in Nikko.  The last thing they needed was to be caught without back-up in the middle of the night when no one would be looking for them.  Calvin should’ve insisted they stay in their room.  Doctor Zond was going to kill him for leaving the hotel, give him another lecture about being older and knowing better.

Nikko started, “We need to get it before they-“

Calvin covered Nikko’s mouth with his hand and whispered, “You and I aren’t doing anything.  We’ll go back and alert your dad.  He and Vincent will come up with a plan.”

Nikko bit down on Cal’s fingers and said in a hushed voice, “They’ll get away.”

“Then they get away.”

“That’s stupid.  I could probably use my powers and grab it.”

“You still can’t control your abilities,” Cal replied.  He noticed Nikko ready to argue and said, “No, Nikko.  What if you try and it doesn’t work?  You could get yourself killed.”

“Vincent’s been helping me to hone my abilities.”

“You told Vincent?”

“Well, yeah.”

“When?”

“I don’t know.  A while ago,” Nikko replied with a shrugged.  He steadied Cal with a stare and asked, “Are you mad about it?  You’re the one who’s been bugging me to tell everyone.”

“I’m not mad.”

“You seem mad.”

“I seem irritated, which is a perpetual state with you, and not really the point right now.”

Nikko huffed and said, “I’ll get it, just keep an eye on things.”

“That’s your big plan?  And then what?”

“We run?”

“We run where?  Ever think that your dad and Vincent are already aware of what’s going?”

“We don’t know that for sure and we can’t let DORNA get it.”

“It’s better than them getting you,” Cal responded.  Nikko shrugged and Cal said, “You know I’m right, so stop being a stubborn pain in the ass.” 

The second Cal said it, he regretted his word choice because Nikko got the said stubborn-pain-in-the-ass look on his face and his hand shot out.  Suddenly the red crystal was not only flying toward their spot in the trees, but giving off sparks, as though Nikko’s abilities had supercharged it with energy.  It was careening for Nikko at full speed, even seeming to startle him at how fast it was approaching, and Calvin reacted instantly.  He pushed Nikko out of the way and took a hit to the chest.  He tried to prepare himself for the pain, but he was not ready when the crystal seemed to slow down and passed through his body like he wasn’t even there.  It landed in Nikko’s hand and Nikko dropped it to the ground, panic etched into his face.  Cal stumbled against Nikko, feeling tingling in his limbs that changed into an almost burning sensation that spread throughout his whole body.  Nikko wrapped his arms around Calvin as Cal’s legs gave out on him from the excruciating pain and he shut his eyes to focus on his breathing.  He muttered, “Going to kill you.”

“Fair enough, but stay with me, okay?  I’m sorry.  Just…there’s no blood, so that’s good.  Just stay awake and you’ll be fine,” Nikko replied, feeling for a pulse and taking Cal’s hand in his.  “C’mon, Cal.  Open your eyes.  Yell at me.  Just don’t do this.”

Calvin wanted to calm the idiot down, remove that anguished look off Nikko’s face because it was just wrong to see, but he stumbled to the ground and couldn’t keep his eyes open, despite hearing Nikko frantically saying his name.

**

First thing Calvin realized as he slipped back to consciousness was that he was hurting all over.  He sucked in a breath, but felt a comforting hand on his cheek, before it moved to his temples and forehead, rubbing circular motions into his skin and removing tension with a familiar ease that had Calvin curling into the touch.  He let out a pleased sigh and kept his eyes shut, not bothering to question what had happened.

And then he heard Nikko saying his name softly, an almost reverent whisper, and it piqued Calvin’s interest.  He blinked his eyes open, groaning as he shifted on his side, and he felt a hand brush through his hair.  Nikko said his name again and Calvin threw his arm over Nikko’s waist as he leaned in closer getting a whiff of Nikko’s expensive soap that he always insisted on buying while he made fun of Cal’s cheap, generic stuff.

Nikko let out a soft, but strange throaty chuckle and lazily looped an arm around Cal’s shoulders, pulling him closer.  Calvin smiled sleepily, distracted by the feel of Nikko’s warm skin and the sound of his breathing.  Nikko’s lips grazed his and said, “Sorry to wake you, but Dad said to check on you every few hours.”

Calvin scrubbed his hand over his face, bleary-eyed and still half-asleep, and it dawned on him that he was in bed with Nikko.  Not just in bed, but in an embrace, wearing only boxers.  Despite the longing in Cal’s chest to just go with it, this was not supposed to happen.  He shot up in the bed, putting distance between the two of them and he risked a glance at Nikko, who was only wearing a pair of sweatpants that hugged his hips perfectly.  Calvin caught himself imagining what it would be like to grab a hold of him and kiss the exposed skin and he could not deal with at the moment.

He had spent months squashing these feelings, reminding himself that it was a fleeting feeling that would pass, and he couldn’t believe that one near-death experience would push him to do something quite so reckless.

“I’m losing my mind,” Cal muttered, covering his face with his hands.

He jumped slightly when Nikko’s hand cupped around the back of his neck and he said gently, “Cal, you’re confused, but it’s okay.”

“I’m not _confused_ ,” he snapped.  He motioned between them and said, “I have no idea how this happened, but it was a huge mistake.” 

“Chuck, I need you to take a deep breath and calm down,” Nikko replied in a composed tone that Calvin had never heard before. 

Calvin realized Nikko’s fingers were stroking at the skin at the nape of his neck and he slapped his hand away.  He said, “Stop being so okay with this.”

“What am I not supposed to be okay with?  Because we already had the fight about you taking stupid risks for no reason earlier.”

Cal groaned and pulled his legs up to his chest, hoping if he made himself as small as possible he could just disappear and this wouldn’t be happening.  He didn’t want to have to deal with the damn emotions swirling in his gut, the want that he was barely able to keep under wraps anymore. 

“Calvin, you’re not crazy.  You’re at home and you’re fine,” Nikko said.  He grabbed Cal’s hand and placed it on Nikko’s chest.  He went on, “Feel that?”

“Nikko…” Calvin managed to get out as he matched his breaths to Nikko’s heartbeat.  Its elevated pace let Cal know that Nikko wasn’t feeling nearly as comfortable with things as he was pretending to be.  Cal’s head was a mess and he barely heard the words that seemed to be spilling out of Nikko’s mouth, but he registered the soothing tone.  Calvin squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ignore the thumping ache in his head, and pressed his hand firmly into Nikko’s chest, holding onto Nikko’s voice as a tether while he struggled to remember what happened.

“You’re alright, Cal,” Nikko said gently.

Calvin shook his head and forced himself to open his eyes.  Nikko was staring at him like he was all that mattered and it just didn’t compute.  He knew Nikko cared about him, but this was overwhelming.  He jerked his hand free and said, “…we can’t…I can’t.”

“You can’t what?”

Calvin scoffed and forced himself out of the bed.  He said, “This cannot happen.”

“What do you think is happening?”

Cal scowled and said, “Really?”  Nikko shrugged and Calvin ran his hand through his hair, wincing slightly when he felt a lump, and tried to remember what happened.  He rubbed his temples and said, “How did we even get here?”

“Cal…” Nikko began, standing up. 

Cal pointed at him and said, “Stay put.  We can’t…”  Nikko rolled his eyes and took a few steps closer.  Cal said, “For once, would you listen to me?  Just stay there.”

Nikko held up his hands in mock surrender and Cal got a good look at him.  The only light in the room was coming in through a window and it gave Nikko an almost ethereal look, playing up his features perfectly.  Except it wasn’t quite right.  This wasn’t his Nikko.  Same brilliant smile and bright blue eyes, but he had grown another couple of inches and his chest was broader than before.  His hair was different and there was more stubble on Nikko’s face than he had ever been able to grow before.  Nikko was even handsomer and, if Cal hadn’t just realized he was having a nervous breakdown, he would’ve kissed the worried look off the man’s face. 

“You took a bad fall.  Hit your head and messed yourself up pretty good,” Nikko replied, his voice soft and comforting. 

The lump on his head backed up Nikko’s claims, but it didn’t make sense.  The last thing Calvin remembered was the walk with Nikko and the crystal hitting him in the chest and going through him.  The crystal must have done something to him, but he had no idea what.  The only thing he knew for sure was that he didn’t belong here.

“You’re still in pain, aren’t you?  I should’ve forced you to go to the hospital.”

“I don’t need a hospital.  I need to get out of here,” Calvin replied.  He considered bolting out the door, but he had no idea where he was.  This wasn’t their hotel room – it looked like someone’s house.  There were books scattered across a chaise lounge in the corner and clothes draped over a chair.  The room was light and comfortable and Nikko looked like he was right at home, but none of it was right.

Calvin felt like his feet were glued to the floor as he locked eyes with Nikko.  Nikko’s eyes were shining, like he was holding back tears, but his voice was unwavering when he said, “It’s the middle of the night.  You’re not going anywhere.  If you want me to stay away, I will.  Just take it easy.  You nearly cracked your skull open yesterday and my Dad said there might be side effects.”

Calvin motioned between them and said, “Side effects does not explain _this_.”

“You have a concussion,” Nikko replied matter-of-factly.

“How are you being so calm right now?” Calvin shouted.

“As opposed to what?  Would it be better for me to lose my cool too?  Yell at you again about the stupid risks you took to collect a piece of glass?”

Calvin snorted and said, “You’re one to talk!  Do you know how many dangerous situations I’ve watched you walk into!  You’re the most impulsive person on the planet.”

Nikko closed the distance between them and Cal’s eyes traveled over every inch of exposed skin and   hardened muscles.  Cal swallowed thickly, forcing himself to focus on the ceiling.  That image would have to wait for fantasies once this whole mess was dealt with.  “Mind putting on clothes?”

Nikko huffed, but turned around, grabbed a tee-shirt off the floor, and shrugged it on over his head.  When he shifted back to face Calvin, he asked, “Better?”

Calvin nodded and Nikko said, “I told my dad that you were way too out of it.  I knew you were hurt more than you were willing to admit, but you get goddamn grumpy when I call you out in front of the team and Dad said I had to trust you.  I should’ve known better.  You might be able to fool them, but it doesn’t work with me.”

Calvin wanted to shout that he hadn’t hit his head and that the reason he was in this mess to begin with was because Nikko couldn’t leave the stupid crystal alone.  The crystal had to be responsible for this mess somehow, but he couldn’t quite put it together.  His mind was racing with possibilities and Nikko looking at Cal like that wasn’t helping.  Cal forced himself to take a deep breath, but couldn’t keep the frustration out of his voice as he responded, “So you’re a psychic now too?”

“I’m fluent in Chuck-is-an-idiot,” Nikko replied with a smirk.

“Nicky, if this is some elaborate joke-“

Nikko heaved out a heavy sigh and cut him off, “Look, you’re obviously not okay, so let’s deal with that first.  I think we need to take you to the hospital.”

“I don’t need a hospital,” Calvin replied.  He glanced down though and got a good look at all the bruises and cuts marring up his skin.  He said, “Shit.  This can’t be good.”

“Cal, please calm down,” Nikko replied, his hands grabbing Cal’s forearms and squeezing his biceps.  He offered up a weak smile and said, “The concussion is messing you up.  That’s the kind of thing that happens when someone decides to jump across a ravine like he’s the Tomb Raider.”

“What are you talking about?  There was no ravine.”

“Maggie already told me everything and I’m not sure why you think I won’t find these things out. After all these years together I’m pretty good at knowing when you’re lying.”

“Years?” Calvin questioned, his suspicions starting to form into a scary theory in his head.  “That’s not…how did we…holy shit.”

“Whatever this is, we’ll deal with it.  Just relax and let me help you,” Nikko insisted.  Calvin started to argue and Nikko spoke over him, “You would help me.  It’s kind of what we do, so stop being pig-headed and work with me here.”

Calvin bit down on his lip and Nikko leaned in closer to Calvin.  Calvin held his breath as Nikko’s hand brushed against his side.  “Cal?  I’m going to hug you, okay?”

Calvin nodded slightly in acquiescence and he was immediately wrapped up into Nikko’s warmth.  It was oddly familiar and safe and Cal buried his face in Nikko’s hair, wishing like hell this was his reality.  Cal’s breathing started to even out and Nikko held him just a fraction tighter.  Nikko whispered, “For the record, this is what I was talking about when I said I worry about you all the time.”

“You don’t need to,” Cal replied, even though he had no recollection of the conversation. 

Nikko shook his head and said, “And everyone thinks I’m the stubborn one in this relationship.”

Cal pulled back and said, “I’m not the one you’re in a relationship with, Nikko.  None of this makes sense and I don’t belong here.”

Nikko arched his eyebrow and asked, “Where do you think you are?”

“I’ve got no idea, man, but I’m pretty sure that crystal messed with my head,” Cal replied, sliding completely out of Nikko’s arms.  He waved his arms haphazardly around and said, “I’ve got no idea where I am.”

Nikko folded his arms and studied Calvin appraisingly.  He said, “I think we need a doctor.”

“Stop talking about the hospital.  I’m not going to the damn hospital,” Calvin snapped.  He shut his eyes when he noticed the anxious expression on Nikko’s face.  He never wanted to be the cause of a look like that.  He let out a shaky breath, forced himself to think, and grabbed a hold of Nikko’s arm.  He said, “I’m sorry.  I’m overwhelmed, but it’s not your fault.  I think that thing messed me up.”

Nikko nodded and said, “I’ll call my dad.”

“Your dad would lose his mind if he found us like this.”

Nikko snorted and said, “You’re still so weird about this stuff, Chuck.”

“Why aren’t you listening to me, Nikko?  This isn’t my life,” Calvin replied.  Nikko frowned and Calvin squeezed his arm tighter, unsure what else to do.  He said, “We should call your dad.  Juliet claims to know all about that damn crystal, so she might-“

Nikko scrubbed at his face with his free hand and said, “Juliet is teaching at Oxford right now so I’m not sure she’d appreciate us bothering her, and that’s the second time you mentioned a crystal.  What crystal are you talking about?  I thought the thing you risked life and limb for was some Egyptian jug.”

“Where would I get my hands on an Egyptian jug?” Calvin asked.  He processed everything Nikko said and continued, “And what is Juliet doing?  Your dad already told her she could stay on as part of the team once you start college in the fall.”

Nikko appeared puzzled by Cal’s statement and asked, “Cal, what year do you think this is?”

“Nikko…”

“You keep saying you don’t belong here, but…” Nikko’s voice trailed off and he laughed mirthlessly.  He stepped out of Calvin’s reach and Cal had to resist the urge to grab a hold of him again.  The only thing holding him slightly together at the moment was Nikko’s presence.  Nikko shook his head and said, “The fact that I’m standing here seriously considering that you might have amnesia says something about our lives.”  Nikko was suddenly back in Cal’s personal space and he bracketed Cal’s face in his hands, resting their foreheads together.  He said, “So we’re clear – as soon as you’re back to fully functioning, I’m going to kill you for this.  You’re going to owe me _forever_.”

Cal hollered at himself to pull away, but the obvious care in Nikko’s expression stopped him.  Nikko seemed sure about things and Cal was all over the place, so he decided to trust Nikko.  As annoying as he could be, he wouldn’t go to this kind of trouble to mess with Cal’s head.  He cleared his throat and said, “Yeah.”

Nikko let go of him and said, “I’ll call my dad.  Just try to breathe and maybe sit down.”

Cal watched him leave the room and his heart started to pound, echoing loudly in his ears.  He yelled at himself to get a grip, but he wasn’t sure what the hell to do.  The crystal had obviously done something to him, but he wasn’t sure what.  There were a few winning guesses at the moment – he was dead, alternate realities existed, or he was in the future.   Possibly some mix of the last two was where he was leaning at the moment since he couldn’t see how he and the Nikko that he knew could end up like this. There was a vast difference between the confusing feelings that Cal had been feeling lately and the level of intimacy this Nikko seemed to have with him. 

Cal’s imagination was not this good and this wasn’t something he ever envisioned for himself, especially not with Nikko.  Cal had never been good at that sort of thing in any of his relationships, always getting hollered at that he needed to open up.  He had been pretty sure that the sort of easy I-get-you relationship wasn’t in the cards for him and now it was all he could think about having…with Nikko no less.

_God damn, crystals_ , he muttered.

He moved over to the desk in the corner and started shuffling through papers.  There were bills with both his and Nikko’s name on it directed to some address in Brooklyn that Cal had never heard of.  There were drawings and papers with notes on it that made no sense.  The sight of the _Mad_ magazine was almost a relief because that was typical Nikko, but when he glanced closer it, the issue date couldn’t be right. 

So definitely some version of the future. 

And how was this his life?  He almost regretted walking into that freshman archeology class that Doctor Zond taught.  These things would never have happened to him if he had taken an interest in Sociology.  Cal forced himself to focus on his breathing – in bright yellow, out crappy brown – to keep the panic from engulfing him.  The goal right now needed to be getting back to his life.  He had no idea where the Cal of this world was, but he doubted he would be pleased to have some intruder slipping into his life.

He stumbled backward slightly as his eyes locked on a picture on the desk and he picked it up, staring at his own face, grinning broadly as he looked at Nikko.  He didn’t know he could be jealous of himself, but his eyes followed a trail of picture frames – some of him and Nikko, some of the team, and some of them with Nikko’s dad…but they were always together in them and always looked content in a way that Calvin wasn’t sure he had ever experienced before.

“How did this even happen,” he muttered.

“Hey Cal?  My dad is on the way,” Nikko called out.  “I’ll make some tea while we wait.  Vincent swears tea cures everything.”

Cal swallowed thickly past the lump in his throat, gripping the back of the chair tightly.  He wished he could believe that this was where he belonged, but he knew that he would never be the guy that threw caution to the wind and acted on his feelings.  He loved logic and covering all the bases before jumping into anything…and while Nikko had started to chip away at that rigidness, he was still far too practical to ever have pursued something like this.

It hurt, looking around and seeing what could never be his.  He wondered if this Calvin knew how lucky he was.  

Nikko popped his head in and stared at Calvin like he could read his every thought.  Nikko sighed, grabbed clothes off the back of the chair and tossed them to Calvin.  He said, “Did you hear me?  My dad is on his way.  Considering how uptight you’re acting, you’d think that you’d put on clothes.” 

Cal pointed to the various piles of clothes and replied, “I didn’t know which ones were mine.”

Nikko pointed to the closet and said, “You’re much neater than I am, but for some reason you like to steal my shirts.”

“Sorry?”

“Don’t be.  I like how they look on you,” Nikko said and Cal’s heart pounded at the possessive tone to Nikko’s voice. 

“Okay, well, thanks,” Calvin replied.  He slid on the sweatpants and he pulled the tee-shirt over his head.  It hung loosely on him, but he realized why he probably stole Nikko’s clothes.  They smelled like Nikko and it was a smell that Cal had learned to equate with home in the last few years. 

“You’re welcome,” Nikko replied.  Calvin glanced around the room, holding onto the chair again when he realized that he had no idea what to do next.  Nikko’s expression twisted with amusement and he asked, “You coming or are you waiting for an engraved invitation?”

“What?”

“Cal, let go of the chair and come into the kitchen.  You can ponder your existence out there if you really need to.”

“Thanks for the support, Nikko.  Really appreciate it,” Calvin retorted.

“I’m trying here.  This is messed up, even for us, and there is obviously more you’re not telling me, but I can’t force you to talk to me.”

“Since when?”

Nikko sighed and said, “Is that what you want?  You want me to brawl-beat it out of you when you feel like shit?”  Cal ducked his head and Nikko huffed. “That’s what I thought.”

“Sorry.”

“I know that and I’m trying to be patient here, Chuck, but I need you to help me.  So move your feet and come into the kitchen to drink some tea.”

Calvin had only heard that tone from Nikko twice in the course of knowing him – the plane crash and after Sophie died.  After the plane crash in Antarctica, it was the first time that Calvin realized he had been wrong about Nikko, that there was more to Nikko than what he let people see.  It was the first time Calvin realized that Nikko was someone worth knowing, even if he was still a pest that Cal wanted to throttle the life out of.

Calvin motioned between him and Nikko and said, “I’m not trying to hurt your feelings and I can see that you’re worried about me, but Nicky, this isn’t my life.  I don’t belong here.”

Nikko scratched his temple, his expression unreadable, and he seemed to be debating something as his eyes darted around the room.  After what felt like a neverending couple of seconds, Nikko walked over to Calvin, pried his hand off the chair and intertwined it with his.  He squeezed it and asked, “Do you trust me?”

“Of course.”

“I promise you that you belong here, Cal.”

Cal stared at their joint hands and replied, “But you’re-“

“-take a deep breath, Cal,” Nikko said, brushing his thumb over the top of Cal’s hand.  The gentleness was almost too much to bear and he tried to pull his hand free, but Nikko simply tightened his hold.  “C’mon, dude, you’re freaking me out.”

“ _I’m_ freaking _you_ out?  You’ve got no idea, Nicky.”

“Tea,” Nikko said in way of a response, pulling Calvin toward the kitchen.  The whistle sound of a kettle echoed through the hallway and Nikko cursed and disappeared around the corner, leaving Cal standing there.  Cal took in the place as he followed after Nikko and noticed the old recliner chair from his current apartment with blankets thrown over it.  Cal’s head and heart were at odds as he tried to figure out what had convinced this version of Cal to throw caution to the wind and pursue a relationship with Nikko Zond.  Cal almost wished he could get out of his own head and live his life the way Nikko did.

Cal saw Nikko stirring cups as he came closer.  Nikko glanced over at him with a smile and Cal liked the image it painted – home and comfort and love.  Cal motioned around the place.  He asked, “How can you afford a place like this in Brooklyn?”

“ _We_ get by just fine.  In fact, you’re the one complaining we need something bigger.  For some reason you think I’m a slob and think more space will make you less likely to murder me in my sleep.  I contend I would just make more of a mess.”

It was strangely comforting to hear something that sounded like them, even if it was laced with memories that he didn’t have.  It seemed like this was a good life and Nikko had asked Cal to trust him, so he could try.  He pointed to a pile of clothes on the back of a couch and said, “Gee, why would anyone think you’re a slob?  The bedroom looked like a bomb went off.”

“I’m a busy man, Cal, and you won’t let us hire a cleaner because the place is too messy.  It’s a Catch-22,” Nikko countered, offering Cal a fond but exasperated look before dipping his head into a cabinet and pulling out a container.  He took the lid off and said, “If ever there was an excuse to eat cookies in the middle of the night, this would be it.”  He dropped the container on the counter, placed the two steaming mugs on the island and said, “I put on some coffee too.  Dad will probably bring Vincent.  Hopefully he’s learned from his mistakes and did not call Maggie and wake up the babies.  Though it was pretty funny watching her ream out my dad about boundaries.”

“Baby?”

“Twins.  They’re cute enough, but I can’t tell them apart no matter how many times Maggie tells me.  It’s not like they have much of a personality yet and they aren’t all that entertaining except for the time that one of them spit-up on Vincent.  The man stares down scary crap all the time without batting an eye, but baby spit on his shoulder had his face twisted in pure horror.  Best thing ever.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Calvin stated as he silently tried to wrap his brain around Maggie with twins.  He had no idea what was going on, but he found himself wanting to claim it for himself.  Before he even realized what he was doing, he closed the distance between him and Nikko and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a hug.

Nikko’s arms immediately went around him, his fingers running down Cal’s back.  Calvin sighed and melted into the embrace, biting back the enormity of the moment and just letting it happen.  It felt right.  It felt safe.  Nikko placed a light kiss to Calvin’s neck, making him shudder, and Nikko said, “Hey, Chuck, it’s okay.  Whatever this is, I’m sure my dad will figure it out.  He’s somewhat fond of you.”

Calvin simply tightened his hold on Nikko.  Nikko’s fingers brushed through the hairs at the nape of Calvin’s neck and said, “I’m pretty fond of you too.”

“Yeah?”

Nikko pulled back slightly and said, “You’re mine, and I love you, and no stupid artifact can make me stop.  You’re stuck with me.”

The words were right there on the tip of his tongue, but he didn’t know how to say them, so he buried his face in the curve of Nikko’s neck. Nikko kissed the side of his head and said, “Stop beating yourself up.  I know you’re not doing this on purpose.”

Cal bit down on his lip to keep a sob from escaping and he could feel his eyes burning.  He had always known that Nikko cared about him, but the level of devotion he was offering Cal was almost humbling.  He could see that Nikko was struggling and he wanted to make it okay for him, the same way Nikko was trying to do for him.  He let out a shaky breath and said, “I’m fine.”

“This isn’t you _fine_.  Think I don’t know that?” Nikko replied, rubbing soothing circles into Cal’s back.

Calvin sighed and pulled back a little so he could get a good look at Nikko.  He let his gaze caress the other man, memorizing the differences that age and maturity had brought about.  Nikko had been a force to be reckoned with before, but now there was also a confidence and ease to him that hadn’t been there before.  Cal wondered if he was partially responsible for any of that…if he had centered Nikko the way Nikko had seemed to have done for him. 

Calvin studied him, committing every mark to memory, and said, “You’re different but the same.”

“The title of my future memoir,” Nikko replied, not moving away when Calvin traced his fingers along Nikko’s jaw.

Calvin grinned and said, “I didn’t know you were capable of growing facial hair.”  His fingers moved to curl around Nikko’s hair.  He tugged on it and said, “And the hair.  It's an interesting look.  Very Justin Timberlake.”

Nikko snorted, but didn’t pull away.  Calvin eyed him over and Nikko said, “You know I’m humoring you right now, right?”

Calvin shrugged and said, “Sure.”  A part of Calvin was screaming to put some distance between the two of them, that he was getting sucked in too deep and too fast, reminding him that this wasn’t really his.

But he could admit, at least there in the moment, that he wished it was real, and he decided to enjoy it for a moment.  After everything with Sophie and nearly leaving Veritas, he had made peace with the fact that he wasn’t sure he was meant for a normal life.  He had accepted that he would likely have to make a choice and he loved his work too much to walk away.  The thought that he got to have it all, especially with Nikko, was startling and frightening and wonderful in a way he couldn’t process.

Nikko yawned, breaking the spell, and Cal said, “Sorry I woke you up.”

“I wasn’t asleep.  I was charged with waking your sorry ass up every few hours because of the concussion.”

“When was the last time you slept?” Cal asked, taking in the dark circles under his eyes.

“I get by.  I was finishing up edits.”

“And you had to keep an eye on me,” Cal said.

Nikko reached out and ran his hand through Cal’s hair.  He said, “A ravine.  You jumped across a ravine.  You’re lucky to still be alive.  Even I wouldn’t pull that crap.”

“That’s a lie.  I’ve watched you do worse than that.”

“I was a stupid kid.  We’re supposed to get smarter the older we get, not more reckless.  Unless you’re my dad,” Nikko replied. 

Cal reacted without thinking and grabbed a hold of Nikko’s hand.  He said, “I don’t want you to worry about me.  You look worn out, Nikko.  I’m not going anywhere, so go back to sleep and I’ll wait here for your dad.”

“Cal, five minutes ago you were on the verge of a breakdown.  I’ll wait.”

“I just wasn’t expecting this.  Your dad can help me figure it out and there’s no reason for both of us to be exhausted later.”

Nikko tugged Calvin closer and said, “I might have been more worried than I let on earlier, so I’m going to sit here with you, alright?”

“How does you not taking care of yourself help me?” Cal questioned in exasperation.

“We’re worrying about you right now.  My turn has to wait,” Nikko replied.  He let go of Calvin and kicked out a stool as he tapped his hand on the counter.  He said, “Sit down and drink your tea.”

“I hate tea.”

“You drink plenty of tea,” Nikko replied.  Cal shook his head because that did not seem like him at all - he wasn’t even sure it sounded like Nikko.  Nikko chuckled and said, “Do you know how many times I’ve changed out your coffee with tea?  Maggie sometimes helped me out too.”

“What?”

“Sometimes more caffeine is the last thing you need,” Nikko stated.  He hopped up on the other stool and stared down at his mug.  He looked like he wanted to say more, but didn’t. 

Cal prompted, “And?”

“Cal, sit down and drink your tea,” he replied warily, his voice cracking slightly.

Cal obediently sat down as he observed Nikko putting back up the veneer that everything was fine.  Nikko had been nothing but patient and understanding with Calvin since he had woken up.  It had to be hard for him too – to suddenly have the person he was sharing a life with going on about how he didn’t belong there – and Calvin figured the least he could do was drink some tea.

He took a sip, trying not to grimace, and nearly gagged.  He pushed the mug away and said, “This is disgusting.  Why is it so minty?  It tastes like Listerine.”

Nikko let out a faint laugh and said, “That’s right, Cal.  I put mouthwash in your tea.  You caught me.”

“Sounds like something you would’ve done to me when we first met.”

Nikko smiled and said, “Probably.” 

“Thank you, Nikko,” Cal said.  Nikko arched an eyebrow and Cal explained, “I’ve been kind of a mess and you’ve been going above and beyond, so thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Nikko replied.

Cal knew better than to push for more.  “So exactly when did you start changing out my coffee with tea?”

“Back when we first started rooming together all the time and I’d hear you tossing and turning all damn night.”

“And I’ve never noticed?  I don’t buy that for a second.”

“I’m pretty sure you know.  I think you’re just humoring me at this point.”

“Not sure I would humor you on anything.”

Nikko grinned that _aww-shucks_ kind of smile and reached out to caress Cal’s face.  He said, “What can I say, Chuck?  You love me.” 

Calvin always knew he cared about Nikko, possibly more than was smart, but he had spent so long suppressing anything beyond friendship that it hadn’t really occurred to him that he did love Nikko.  It probably made him certifiably insane, especially given their knack for irritating each other, but it was still true.

Nikko’s hand slipped away and he moved the mug of tea closer to Calvin.  He said, “Drink the damn tea.  At the very least, you’ll be so annoyed with me about how gross it is that you’ll stop looking at me like your dog died.”

“I have a dog?”

Nikko quirked an eyebrow and said, “We had goldfish, or a series of goldfish, but you kept killing them.”

“Sounds more like you.”

“See, that’s what everyone thinks.  ‘Oh that Nikko, head in the clouds, probably forgot to feed them,’ but you boiled Newton and Princess alive when you were cleaning their tank and then I don’t even want to know how Copernicus died, but you seemed shaken when I came home from work,” Nikko replied, taking a long sip from his cup. 

Cal noticed the pop of colors and realized it was a comic book character that he didn’t recognize.  He replied, “Cool cup.”

Nikko’s lips quirked up with amusement and he said, “Yeah, sure.  Helps pay the bills.”

“Huh?”

“Nevermind.”

“Nikko, don’t-“

“-I’m doing my best here, but this is weird even for us and we’ve swapped bodies.”

“That happened here too?”

Nikko motioned around them and asked, “Where do you think you are?”

“I’ve narrowed it down to two possibilities.”

“And?”

“You’ll think I’m crazy.”

“Did I mention we swapped bodies?  Or that I can move things with my mind?  So let’s just presume that I won’t think you’re crazy,” Nikko replied in a voice that was much too calm based on the frazzled look on his face.

“I’m in an alternate universe or the future…or the future of an alternate universe,” Cal replied.  He shrugged and added, “There’s also the chance that I’ve had a meltdown and you’re a figment of my demented imagination.”

“You woo me, Chuck.  I can’t imagine how I ever resisted your charm,” Nikko replied with an exaggerated eye roll.

Cal shook his head and said, “I just wasn’t expecting this.”

“Because you think you’re from an alternative universe,” Nikko replied.  Nikko rubbed the bridge of his nose in a move that was remarkably reminiscent of his father.  He took a deep breath and, when he looked at Calvin, his whole expression was calm and considering.  He said, “Okay.  Shoot.  What’s your universe like?”

“Are you actually considering this is possible?”

“You seem to think so and I trust you.  Doesn’t really seem like the sort of thing you would make up,” Nikko replied.  He took a big bite out of a cookie and with a mouthful of food asked, “What’s your universe like?”

“For starters, you’re in high school.”

“How long to people go to high school there?  I can’t imagine years of Juliet droning on about where moss grows,” Nikko replied, shuddering for effect.  His eyes sparkled with mischief and he added, “Although, it might’ve made things more interesting if I was drunk the whole time we studied spores.”

“Don’t be an idiot.  You’re a teenager who is actually in high school.  Well, you’re pretty much done at this point.  You’ve been avoiding picking your college.  You want to go to NYU or Columbia, but your dad wants you at Princeton.”

Nikko pointed to the tee-shirt that Calvin was wearing and said, “Columbia.  Dad nixed the acting thing.  Color me surprised.  Though writer and comic book creator probably wasn’t on his radar either, so that four-hour lecture on career goals was probably a waste.”

Calvin stared at Nikko, wondering how this version knew about the conversation he and Calvin had before this not-quite-nightmare had started.  “Comic books?  Since the day we’ve met, you’ve called me every version of nerd you could think of-“

“-because you are one-“

“-and you like comic books enough to create one?”

Nikko rolled his eyes and said, “Just because you weren’t observant enough to notice my huge box of comic books until we had been dating for a year, that’s not my fault.”  Cal wanted to ask for details, trying to imagine dating Nikko and what that would have entailed given their lives.  Nikko took a sip of his drink and, when Calvin didn’t respond, he prompted, “So what else besides my age is different?”

“You and I don’t live together.  Well, we sort of do when we’re traveling, which is most of the time, but not like this.  And Maggie doesn’t have kids and…where is Juliet again?”

“Teaching at Oxford.  She still helps dad sometimes, but with Naomi and Jonathan on board at Veritas, she’s not really needed as much.  Probably for the best since she’s trying to plan a wedding and I’m the one she calls to complain too.  Apparently, Maggie reamed her out about waking sleeping babies too.”

“A wedding?”

“Barney – and that really is his name – is this big, stocky pub owner.  So not who I thought she would end up with, but then again, if you told sixteen-year-old me that I would fall in love with you, I would’ve bust a gut.”

“Gee thanks.”

“You weren’t exactly welcoming to me when I showed up.”

“You weren’t exactly behaving like someone worth welcoming.”

“Fair enough.  I might’ve had a small chip on my shoulder,” Nikko replied, holding up his fingers like he was measuring something.

It struck Calvin that Nikko was taking this latest development all in stride, that he simply believed Calvin.  And maybe Calvin would’ve been the same way – their lives were completely bizarre sometimes – but it reminded Calvin of how far he and Nikko had come since the day that they had met.  It was a given that Nikko would trust him and there was a time when Calvin never would have believed that, easily recalling how hard it was for Nikko to let Calvin help him back on that practice climbing wall before the trip to Antarctica.

“And I might have been a bit of a skeptical jerk with you those first few weeks,” Calvin admitted.  He scratched his chin and said, “We got over it.”

Nikko smiled at him, but he shifted restlessly without saying a word.  After what felt like minutes, he shoved a cookie into Cal’s hands.  He said, “Megan – she’s my assistant – baked these.  Hopefully your universe has cookies this good.”

Calvin decided it best to indulge Nikko and took a bite of the cookie.  He gave him a thumbs up and, once he was done chewing, he asked, “You have an assistant?”

“Important guy, Chuck.  And the publisher insisted on it because I tend to forget meetings or booking travel arrangements without her.  People get pissed when you miss huge chunks of a press junket.”

“Can’t imagine why.”

Nikko said, “Funny enough that’s exactly what you said to me when I complained about it after it happened.”

“And how do we make this work?” Cal questioned.

“What do you mean?”

“I work with your Dad and you apparently trot the globe promoting your comic book…not exactly conducive to a home life.”

“We decided it was important to us and just figured it out.”

“Nikko…”

“It’s true,” Nikko replied.  He sighed and asked, “Cal, have you considered that this is just your future?  Not some alternate universe?”

“I’m not sure how it could be.”

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Pushing your dumb ass out of the way of that glowing red crystal that you decided you had to steal.”

Nikko put down his cup and stared at Calvin for a minute.  He said, “That was over eight years ago.  I thought I had killed you.  I spent months convinced you hated me.”

“Months?”

“It really messed you up and, when I would ask about it, you’d get grumpy and then we’d fight and you just started to avoid me all together,” Nikko replied.  Calvin couldn’t understand why he would do that.  Nikko hadn’t purposefully tried to hurt him and Calvin was used to his recklessness after all this time.  Off whatever Nikko saw in Calvin’s expression, he continued, “I didn’t blame you, Chuck.  I messed up and you could’ve died…scared the hell out of me.  Realized that maybe everyone was right and I had some impulse control issues to deal with.  It took some work, a lot of ‘listen to me, grasshopper’ conversations with Vincent, but I found better ways to channel my emotions.  Don’t get me wrong though.  There are still days where my patience resides at the bare minimum and I contemplate a nicely placed hulk smash.”

“Hulk smash?”

“This might be slightly unethical, but when you get back to your time, find a way to invest in Marvel studios.  You won’t be sorry.”

“Sure,” Calvin said.  He tightened his grip on his mug, surprised he didn’t shatter it, and went on, “The thing with the crystal actually happened here?”

“My dad was so pissed, like the not even yelling but gets really quiet kind, and then he found out how it happened with my abilities and he was angry with you and Vincent for keeping it a secret.  Whole big debacle.  Really sucked at the time, but I think it worked out in the end.”

“How does your dad getting angry with me ever seem like a good thing?”

“It’s hard to explain.”

“Try me.”

“Cal, this might not be a good line of conversation; at least not until we know what we’re dealing with.  What if I’m messing up your future or something?  I’m kind of fond of our life and I’d rather not risk undoing it.”

“Did I tell you that I traveled through time?”

“Cal…”

“It seems like something I would tell you.”

Nikko shrugged and said, “We really weren’t in a good place after it happened, but you swore to everyone that you couldn’t remember anything.  Every time my dad or Maggie would press you, you said you didn’t remember and bitched that you weren’t paid enough to babysit me.”

“Nikko, I don’t-“

“-you don’t need to apologize for something you said years ago after I nearly got you killed.  I called myself a lot worse.”

“That wasn’t all on you, Nikko.  I saw it coming right at you and I couldn’t let it hit you, not if I could stop it.  That was my choice.”

“Yeah.  Okay,” Nikko replied with an understanding smile that unnerved Calvin.  Calvin stared at him incredulously and Nikko asked, “What now?”

“I can almost believe that eight years have passed, but you not arguing with me?  That’s impossible to believe.  Definitely a different universe.”

“I’ve learned to pick my battles, Chuck,” Nikko said with a smug smile that did things to Calvin that he wasn’t ready to deal with.  “I think we should probably drink our tea and wait for my dad to get here.  He shouldn’t be much longer.”

“You want to sit here in silence?”

“Normally, I’d find other ways to shut you up, but since you don’t remember any of that, I’m not going there," Nikko stated.  Calvin gave him a challenging look.  It was probably the worst idea in his life, but he coveted anything Nikko could give him to make him believe this was real.  He also took a lot of joy in winding Nikko up.  Nikko shook his finger at Cal and said, “No.  Absolutely not.  You’re either super-concussed or not my Cal…so either way, I’m the asshole in that scenario.  We sit here.”

“Didn’t know you were a chicken.”

“Cal,” Nikko warned.

“You’re the one who always tells me that I need to live a little.”

Nikko snorted and said, “I should record this conversation for posterity.”

Cal kicked him in the calf in response.

Nikko shook his head and said, “I’ll make you a deal.  You take it easy and I promise to make it up to you when you’re yourself again.”

Calvin took a sip of his tea, balking at the taste.  Before he could even ask, Nikko pushed two packets of sugar at him.  Calvin focused on his tea, but he couldn’t stand the quiet because it left his mind racing.  He asked, “So what am I like?”

“What do you mean?”

“You said when I’m myself again – what does that mean?”

“It means that you’re not suffering from a head injury and memory loss.  Jesus.  Even alternate universe versions of you are annoying.”

“Thought it was determined that I time traveled to the future,” Cal responded.

“Or you’re just really messed up right now because you dig your heels in and don’t see doctors.  Possibly all of the above,” Nikko muttered. 

Cal decided to try a different tactic.  He motioned between them and asked, “How did this happen?”

“Maybe we should leave that as a surprise.  Hate to ruin the revelation for you,” Nikko replied with a smirk like he knew exactly what Calvin was trying to do.

“Nikko…”

“Where’s the fun in me telling you?”

“Nikko,” Calvin repeated, trying to make it perfectly clear how frustrated he was.

“It would give you an unfair advantage right from the start.  Hardly think that’s fair.”

“And what if me coming here is what prompts me to do anything?  If I don’t know-“

“-you’re a genius.  Pretty sure you’ll figure it out.”

Cal jutted his bottom lip out and looked soulfully over at Nikko.  He replied, “You’re really not going to tell me?  I’m your boyfriend.  Possibly the love of your life-“

“-this…no one believes what a manipulative shit you are.  They all look at me like I’m insane or projecting,” Nikko replied.  There was no heat in his voice; instead it sounded almost affectionate.  And Cal really wanted to know how he found a way to have this so he could make sure he wasn’t too stupid not to hold onto it. 

“At least give me a hint,” Calvin prodded.

“No.  I’ve read and watched enough Sci-Fi to know this cannot end well.  You’re not supposed to mess with time and there’s that whole butterfly effect thing and it will make my head hurt, Chuck.  Don’t make my head hurt.  It’s been a long week.”

Calvin wanted to reach out and pull Nikko closer, look out for him the way he was trying to take care of Calvin.  Calvin craved the contact, practically yearned for it, like he wouldn’t feel right until he could touch Nikko.  He gripped the counter and focused his attention on his tea instead, watching the steam pucker the air. 

After a bit passed, Cal spoke up, “Here’s the thing…”

“For god’s sake, Cal.”

“Hear me out,” Cal said.  Nikko tilted his head for Cal to continue.  “One could hypothesize that if I did time travel because of that red crystal and I don’t remember anything, no one would be the wiser if you told me.”

“First of all, I think we’ve proven that when it comes to your health, you like to omit plenty, so there’s always the chance that you were well aware of what happened and never said anything, pretending you didn’t remember.  Second, even if you don’t remember, I would know.”

“But not the you that I know.”

“Making my head hurt, Cal.”

Calvin sighed and said, “I’m intrigued.  You’re different – settled and happy – and we must be good if we’re living together and haven’t murdered each other.  How did we get here?  Are we happy?”

“I guess.”

“You guess?”

“Well, _I’m_ happy and you _seem_ happy, but there are also days where you threaten to throw me off the roof, so you’d be a better person to answer that question.”

“And we live together?”

“We’ve established that.”

“How long?”

“Have we lived together?  As you pointed out, we’ve pretty much lived out of each other’s pockets since we first met.”

Cal groaned and said, “Why are you making this difficult?”

“This is weird for me too,” Nikko replied, a little heat evident in his voice, and that made Calvin feel a little better.  He didn’t like the idea of Nikko changing or maturing so much that Calvin still couldn’t get under his skin.  And as though Nikko knew exactly what he was doing, Nikko shook his head and said, “You’re a real jerk sometimes.  I swear to God, I don’t know why I bother.  I’ve got groupies, Chuck.  Hot, smart groupies of both genders that adore me and I put up with your obnoxious ass.  Clearly, I’m broken inside.”

Calvin scoffed, but pulled Nikko’s stool closer to his.  He leaned forward and Nikko stilled, but didn’t pull away.  Calvin reached out and cupped Nikko’s face in his hands before pressing a tentative kiss to Nikko’s lips.  It was something he had thought about doing a lot recently and here it was okay, practically expected of him. 

“You can do better than that,” Nikko said, wrapping his hand around Calvin’s neck and practically pulling Calvin into his lap as he covered Cal’s mouth with his own. 

Cal pulled back, slightly breathless, and was thunderstruck by how gorgeous Nikko looked, a slight flush to his face and his lips swollen from the kiss.  Calvin felt dizzy with it and he forced a small smile.  He leaned forward and mouthed at Nikko’s throat.  He said, “Sure I can’t convince you to take advantage of me?”

Nikko turned his head and pressed their lips together in a more demanding kiss as his hands slid up the back of Cal’s tee-shirt.   Cal moaned at the scrape of teeth against his lower lip and the care in Nikko's touch against his bare skin.  Calvin pawed at Nikko's shirt so he could get Nikko back out of the clothes he forced him to put on earlier.

“Nikko, we talked about leaving the door unlocked-“

Cal pulled back from Nikko so fast he stumbled back against his stool and fell on his ass.  Vincent stared down at him with a bemused look and Cal held his hand up in a wave as his face burned with embarrassment.

“How else would you be able to continue your streak of worst timing ever, Dad?”

Solomon smirked and said, “You called me, remember?”

“Well, you broke my boyfriend… _again_ ,” Nikko replied.

Vincent held out his hand to Calvin and said, “Need help?”

“Thanks,” Cal said, trying not to be startled when Vincent hauled him off the ground with one hand.  

Vincent slapped him on the back and said, “No, thank you.  Solomon and I had a bet.  He owes me twenty bucks.”

“And stop betting on your son’s love life.  It’s weird and creepy,” Nikko said.   He squeezed his dad’s shoulder as he passed by and went on, “I’ll get you some coffee.”

Solomon turned his attention to Calvin.  His hair was a bit grayer and there were new creases and spots to his face, but mostly he seemed the same.  He definitely had the identical I-can-solve-this expression down to a tee.  “You told me you weren’t experiencing any side effects earlier.  What’s changed?”

“I don’t belong here.”

“How so?”

“We’ve got it down to: concussion, time traveling or alternate universe with time traveling,” Nikko said, appearing with a cup of coffee that he passed to his dad.

Solomon groaned and said, “That’s great.”

Nikko shrugged.  Both Solomon and Nikko looked at Cal expectantly, but he didn’t know how to explain any of this.  A part of him didn’t even want to try, thinking it might be nice to stay here.  It wasn’t a future he had earned, definitely didn’t deserve, but he desired it all the same.  He was about to say as much when his vision started to blur around the edges.

Nikko’s hand was suddenly on his back, steadying him on his feet, and Calvin could tell Nikko was trying to keep the alarm out of his voice as he said, “Hey, you with me, Chuck?  You don’t look good.”

“Feeling dizzy.”

“Let’s sit him down,” Vincent had just gotten out when Cal practically collapsed against Nikko.  He felt nauseous and tired and so damn dizzy.

“Cal? 

Calvin grabbed his head and said, “Shit.  My head hurts.”

Nikko’s hand was cupping his head and he said, “I got you.  You’ll be okay.”

“Don’t leave,” Cal muttered before he was unable to stop his eyes from closing and darkness took him.

**

“Dammit, Cal, you die on me and I’ll murder you.”

Calvin groaned and Nikko said, “Cal?  You with me?”

“Always,” he muttered, blinking his eyes open.  He glanced around, but he wasn’t in the kitchen anymore.  He was on the ground, surrounded by trees.  He sat up too fast and ended up clutching his head.  He asked, “The crystal?  Where is it?”

“Take it easy, man,” Nikko said, his hand resting on Calvin’s shoulder and Calvin was suddenly overwhelmed with the memory of being with Nikko – to be able to hold him and kiss him without any hesitation.  It made his gut wrench with loss that he didn’t have that now and he wanted to take that crystal and chuck it for doing this to him.  He could barely contain the anger he was feeling – toward Nikko and the crystal and himself – for forcing him to consider things that were never going to be his. 

“Cal, seriously, slow down.”

“I’m fine,” he replied, pushing Nikko’s hand away.  He stood up and studied the immediate area for signs of threats.  He asked, “Where’s the crystal?  What happened?”

“It sort of died.”

“What does that mean?”

“I’ve been mostly focused on you, but I didn’t want those guys to find us, especially since you were unconscious, but it made a popping sound and the light just flickered out.  I managed to pull you a little further into these trees to keep them from finding us and, in that time, it hasn’t recharged or anything.  You okay?  I was about to risk leaving you hidden back here so I could get my dad and Vincent.”

“Shit,” Calvin muttered.  He glared at Nikko and said, “You pull a stunt like that again and I’ll end you.”

“I wouldn’t blame you.  Jesus, Cal, I thought that thing killed you.”

Calvin could see the misery and guilt in Nikko’s eyes, but he couldn’t let himself worry about that.  His head hurt, swimming with things that made no sense no matter how much he wanted them to, and his heart was twisted in knots.  It had been nothing more than a weird dream after he was knocked unconscious.  Some sort of secret wish fulfillment that had no bearing on his life.  There were so many reasons why he and Nikko would never…it was stupid to even go down that road.

Cal pointed to the crystal at Nikko’s feet and said, “Pick it up and let’s go.”

“Maybe you should wait here while I get my-“

“-now Nikko,” Cal barked.

Nikko’s shoulders slumped.  Calvin hadn’t expected Nikko to give in without a fight.  Calvin could see that he was just as messed up by this as Calvin was, but the anger was still there, barely staying below the surface.  Nikko glanced at him as he picked up the crystal and, when Cal remained silent, Nikko walked toward the hotel.  He stopped and turned around to say something to Cal, but Cal stormed off ahead of him, unable to have that conversation right then, not without it ending with him doing something incredibly stupid.

“I’m really sorry, Cal,” Calvin heard Nikko say, but Calvin just increased his pace, hoping they could get through the night and he could sleep for a week.  He could still feel Nikko’s lips on his own, could still hear the way Nikko’s breath hitched just slightly when Calvin held onto him, and none of it was real.  Calvin didn’t know it was possible to mourn for something that didn’t actually exist, but he already missed it so much that his whole body thrummed in agony.

Cal rushed for the stairwell.  He knew he should slow down, make sure DORNA wasn't laying in wait, ready to jump Nikko, but he was afraid that if he stopped moving, the anger would fade away and there would just be an enormous pit of loss and longing. 

He did stop and wait for Nikko and motioned for him to go.  Nikko glanced back at him, but kept moving, and Cal recalled Nikko’s words, “Have you considered this is just your future?”  He didn’t want to hurt Nikko, or screw up some potential great future, but he couldn’t risk everything he had built for himself on the outside chance that it was meant to be.   

It had to be a dream.  Nikko wasn’t his.  He was just a teenager with his whole life ahead of him and Cal was a mess on a good day.  It would never work.  It would mess up the team and their friendship.  Calvin couldn’t even consider it.

What Calvin needed to do was put as much distance between him and Nikko Zond as he could until he could get a grip on these emotions bubbling to the surface again. 


	3. Rinse & Repeat

Calvin wasn’t sure if artifacts could purposefully mess with someone, but it was beginning to feel that way.  It wasn’t that they all didn’t have a fair amount of run-ins with crap at some point.  It was a part of the job, but it was getting ridiculous the way these things seemed to keep finding him. 

Six months ago that stupid Peruvian red crystal ruined everything.  He and Nikko had been doing so well; gotten to a place where they could not only go hours without fighting, but were able to count on each other.  They were friends, which had been more than enough for Calvin, and then suddenly he was shown more and that was all he wanted.  He wanted what he couldn’t have and it physically hurt to be around Nikko without trying to create that easy rapport from his dream.

Now, he and Nikko barely spoke to each other.  At least before, Nikko would at least bicker with him and tease him, push Cal’s buttons to get a reaction, but now, Nikko avoided him completely.  Calvin had moments where he thought maybe this was all leading to that future, but then he would see the way Nikko smiled at some girl or watch from a distance as Nikko packed up his room and moved onto campus.  Despite what he had said about staying home, Nikko was embarking on a whole new portion of his life and Cal would just be dead weight, a reminder of a world that made Nikko miserable.

It was better for both of them to keep their distance, at least until these feelings were gone.  The red crystal had messed him up in a way that he wasn’t sure he could get over, at least not anytime soon.  That didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt to lose his friend, to lose Nikko.  Calvin would see Nikko joking with Maggie or teasing Juliet and he wanted to claim it for himself.  It would be so easy – he was pretty sure Nikko would forgive him for the distance – but he couldn’t do it. 

Obviously, he was missing something, and thought it best not to find out what.

“Calvin, are you okay?” Solomon asked, gripping Cal’s shoulder tight.

“Yeah,” Calvin replied, shaking his hand where there was a long cut on his palm from the tip of the clear crystal he had unearthed. 

Maggie ran a scan of it as Calvin stepped away and Solomon followed him.  He said, “I’m beginning to wonder if you’ve got some hidden knack for finding ancient crystals.”

“Technically Nikko found the other two.  I was just the poor bastard affected by them.”

Solomon nodded.  He looked like he might say something else, but thankfully Maggie called out for him.  Calvin leaned back against the wall of the fort they were working in and Vincent seemingly appeared out of thin air next to him.  Calvin shook his head and said, “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Never mind.”

“Why don’t you head back to the house?  We can handle it from here.”

Cal wasn’t in the mood to argue that he might be needed, so he nodded and started to walk the mile back to the cabin they had rented, trying not to think about stupid crystals that caused dreams that wrecked his brain.

And as he threw himself down on the couch, he really thought that was the end of it, but three days later everything went to hell.

**

Everyone at Veritas had the overworked-and-slightly-crazed expression on their faces as they processed all of the artifacts that had been unearthed on the latest dig.  Calvin had passed out on the couch in Maggie’s lab around seven in the morning while his computer ran through programs to crack the cipher they had discovered and woke up four hours later with a crick in his neck and Juliet telling him that his computer was beeping.

Calvin had stumbled over to the computer and frowned at the mess of characters in front of him that still made no sense.  He momentarily thought about calling Nikko to come and take a look at it – the guy had an uncanny knack for deciphering things that he claimed came from years doing cryptograms to avoid schoolwork.  He bit down on his lip and reminded himself that Nikko wasn’t really involved anymore with their work.  He had decided to focus on school and Calvin couldn’t really blame him for that.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Maggie asked for the fifth time that morning.

“Not sleeping great, but I’m fine,” Calvin replied, refusing to look up from his computer as he inspected the pictures of the excavated wall for clues to help him make sense of the gibberish on his screen.

“I’m only asking because some of what Juliet and I’ve discovered about the crystals we found alluded to people going crazy from coming in contact with them.”

“Probably because someone kept asking them if they were okay every five seconds,” Calvin muttered, garnering him a glare.  He glanced up at Maggie just in time to see Nikko come strolling off the elevator. 

Nikko smiled over at them and held up his hand in a half wave before Juliet grabbed his hand and pulled him toward Solomon’s office.  Calvin’s eyes were fixed on the Columbia tee-shirt that Nikko was wearing and felt like he was going to throw up.  He was suddenly inundated with the memory of the kiss with Nikko, of Nikko’s hands deftly traveling along the muscles of his back and the need Calvin had felt in that moment to just get closer. 

He bolted out of his chair and ran to the bathroom.  He wasn’t sure how long he sat on the floor, spitting up bile and trying to squelch the achy panic settling into his bones.  He wished like hell he hadn’t eaten that leftover Chinese food, feeling like he had a hangover without any of the fun parts.  He felt a hand on his back and was ready to tell Maggie for the sixth time that he was fine only to look up and see Nikko watching him carefully.  Nikko met Cal’s gaze with a shy smile and Calvin shifted away, unable to handle the contact with Nikko.  He almost wished he hadn’t when he saw the wounded look on Nikko’s face as he pulled his hand back like he had been burned.

“You okay, Cal?”

“One more person asks me that question…”

“Can’t imagine why anyone would be wondering such a thing, what with the lovely shade of green you’re sporting,” Nikko commented, a faked lightness to his voice that made Calvin nauseous again.  He thought back to the way the Nikko in his vision had taken such good care of him, the way it was obvious he was worried about Cal, but tried so hard not to let it show.  Calvin just wished he knew how that version of him – dream or not – knew how to get out of his own way.

Calvin stood up and brushed past Nikko, splashing water over his face in the sink.  He caught Nikko watching him from the mirror and sighed.  “I’m okay.  Fine.  Perfect.”

“Juliet told me about the recent trip.  You really don’t have much luck with crystals.”

“No, I don’t,” Calvin replied shortly.

Nikko stared at him for a second with an unreadable expression and said, “Anyway, I’m just waiting for my dad.  We’re going to lunch if you want to come along.  You can act as a buffer between us so I don’t have to endure another conversation with him where he reminisces about the good ‘ole days of his college years.  Or you could share some of your own nerd experiences with me so I get the full scope of all I should be taking in.”

“I’m good,” Calvin said.

Nikko nodded and turned to walk off.  He stopped by the door and spun around.  He pointed between them and asked, “Is this how it’s always going to be now?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m sorry about what happened last spring, Cal, and I get why you might not want to be stuck with me on a trip ever again.  I’m just really sorry.  I was stupid and reckless and I would never have forgiven myself if something bad happened to you.”

“I’m not mad,” Calvin replied honestly.

Nikko scoffed and said, “Uh-huh.”

“I’m not mad at you, Nikko.”

“So six months of the silent treatment was because you were okay with everything?”

“You haven’t been talking to me either,” Cal pointed out.

“Because you get mad at me or look at me like I’ve ruined your life and…” Nikko paused and motioned between them.  “What do you want me to do?  Because every time I’ve tried, you’ve shot me down, so…”

“What do you want from me, Nikko?  That crystal…” Cal paused.  As far as everyone else knew, he hadn’t remembered anything.  He wasn’t in the mood to try to explain it or deal with the looks it would garner him.  He definitely didn’t want Nikko to hear about and feel like he had to care about Calvin more than he did.  Cal wiped the back of his hand over his mouth and said, “I’m not mad at you, Nikko, but I’m not okay with what happened either.  I’m sorry if that’s not the answer you want.”

“Chuck-“

“-I haven’t slept in days, we need to process all this information, and some of us still have work to do here, possible apocalypse to prevent.  This has to wait,” Calvin replied.  Calvin hated the crestfallen look on Nikko’s face and felt the wall he had built up start to crumble.  He kept reminding himself that this was the smart play, a way to potentially find a way to have a friendship with Nikko in the future.  If he started to let Nikko back in now, those images from the crystal still so burnt into his memory, he would cave.  He and Nikko would go back to the weird dance they were doing before the crystal hit him and Calvin wasn’t sure he would be able to stop himself from laying it all out on the table.  Confessing to things that he wasn’t sure he could handle.

Because he didn’t want to need or love Nikko that all rational thought abandoned him and he definitely didn’t want Nikko trapped to a past that he was trying to break free from. 

It was better this way.  Calvin would keep repeating it for as long as it took to sink in.

It was better this way.

“I can help if you want,” Nikko offered.

Luckily, Solomon hollered for Nikko before Calvin had to come up with some excuse.  Calvin motioned toward the hall and said, “Don’t keep your dad waiting.”

Something in Cal’s heart screamed that he was making a mistake and to run out there and grab a hold of Nikko, let the cards fall where they may.  Instead he splashed another handful of water over his face and forced himself not to listen to Nikko’s hollow laugh as the bathroom door closed.

Calvin had cleaned himself, went back to work and ignored the looks from Maggie.  He got lost in his work, grateful for the distraction, until a few hours later Maggie appeared at his side, hand on his shoulder.   Cal had the “I’m fine” on the tip of his tongue for the next round of _are you sure you’re okay_ when he got a good look at her and noticed the shine in her eyes.  Maggie clutched her phone to her chest with her other hand, distraught in a way he hadn’t seen often, despite all the shit they got into.

He instinctively jumped out of his seat, waiting for her to share whatever had her so upset, but she didn’t say anything.  He placed his hand on her arm and squeezed.  “Maggie?  What’s wrong?”

“Solomon just called from the hospital.”

“What happened?  He okay?”

“He’s not…he’s physically fine, but I don’t think he’s processing any of it.  Nikko was hit by a car on their way back from lunch.”

“What?  How bad is it?”

“Cal…”

“How bad is it?” Calvin repeated, trying not to squeeze Maggie’s arm too hard, but trying to keep himself from falling over.

“He died before the ambulance could get there,” Maggie said, no inflection in her voice.  Cal remembered the way that red crystal had pounded into his chest, but that pain had been nothing compared to the painful drilling sensation that was suddenly there, making his eyes burn.  Maggie’s eyes wandered over him and she covered his hand with her own.  She said, “Calvin, he’s gone.”

“How did it even happen?  Was he messing around on his phone again?” Cal said, trying to hold onto his anger with Nikko to keep from processing the reality of the situation.  How many times had he hollered at Nikko about paying attention?  They could be running from DORNA agents, but the idiot would try to finish his game.

Calvin would’ve given anything to be able to grab Nikko and shake him senseless, but that was never going to happen.  As though he needed one more reminder that the future he dreamed about was never going to happen, he was suddenly facing the reality of a world without Nikko Zond.  And not for the first time, Cal really hated the dream version of him that got that happy life. That Nikko never died in an accident.  That Nikko had a whole life full of great things that some version of Cal was lucky to be a part of…but Calvin would never even get to imagine it.

“I didn’t have time to get all the details.  Let me go tell Vincent and Juliet.  You want to come to the hospital?”

“What’s the point?”

“Cal…”

“He’ll still be dead,” Calvin said.

Maggie gave him a once over and asked, “Are you going to be okay?”

“Not this again-“

“-I know how close you and Nikko had gotten.”

“Solomon’s the one who needs you right now.  Nikko and I weren’t that close,” Calvin replied, not elaborating on all the ways he had ruined everything.  He replayed his conversation with Nikko earlier.  He should’ve handled everything differently.  If he had known that Nikko would have been dead by the end of the day, Calvin would have behaved differently.  If he had known what was coming, he would have treasured the time they had left and made damn sure that Nikko wasn’t upset when he had left that bathroom.  Months wasted running from a future that wasn’t even real and all he did was lose out on time with Nikko.

“I think you should lie down.  You were already roughed up from the last excavation and it’s going to be a hard week on all of us.”

“Tell Solomon…” Cal’s voice trailed off, unsure what to say.  He couldn’t begin to explain the utter devastation he was feeling, so he had no idea how hard this would be for Solomon.  Cal ran his hand over his face and replied weakly, “…I don’t know what to tell him.  But just…let me know what I can do.”

“Start by resting.”

“Thanks, Maggie.”

“You know, Nikko made me promise to take care of you.  Said you forgot to sleep when you were stressed out.”

“What?”

“Before he left for school, he pulled me aside.  Told me the tells to look for and taught me his trick for substituting your coffee out with green tea too when you were too wired.  I thought he was insane, but it worked every time,” Maggie replied.  She reached out and caressed Cal’s face and said, “…he knew you pretty well, Calvin.”  She cleared her throat, like there was more she wanted to say but couldn’t get out.  She let out a shaky breath as she pulled her hand away from Cal and said, “As much as he liked to act like he couldn’t be bothered, he took care of all of us, didn’t he?”

Cal swallowed thickly and managed a small nod.  Calvin was suddenly back in that Brooklyn kitchen with Nikko taking care of him, making him comfortable even when he was likely hurting too.  Nikko always seemed to know just what Calvin needed and when Nikko needed him most, Calvin had turned his back on him. 

“Cal?”

Calvin shoved his hand into his hair to keep himself from punching a wall and said, “He switched out my coffee?”

“Loaded it with cream so you wouldn’t notice.  And that’s not the point.”

“Maggie…”

“He knew you and he understood that he mattered to you, so no beating yourself up about whatever was going on with the two of you recently,” Maggie replied.  Calvin noticed her eyes travel across the room to where Vincent had appeared.  Vincent stopped at the sight of them, studying their postures and expressions.  His face was blank as he started to back away, but Maggie called out to stop him.  She squeezed Calvin’s shoulder before heading over to Vincent.

Calvin couldn’t stand to watch Vincent get the news that his surrogate son was gone.  Calvin had never understood the odd relationship between Vincent and Nikko, but he knew how important it was to Nikko.  Calvin darted up the stairs to the living area.  He started toward one of the spare rooms, but came to a halt in front of Nikko’s door.  He couldn’t stop himself from walking in and he was overwhelmed with all things Nikko.  Despite the fact that Nikko didn’t live there most of the time anymore, the room still smelled like him and was a complete mess, clothes and books strewn haphazardly all over the place. 

Calvin collapsed on the bed and shut his eyes, trying to control his breathing, thinking of all the things he should have said that afternoon.  He should’ve gone with Solomon and Nikko.  He should’ve made sure Nikko knew that Cal didn’t hate him, that the distance between them was because Cal was a mess.  He should’ve never wasted months running from feelings because of what might change between them and his own fears about it.  He might’ve been older, but Nikko had always been the braver of the two of them.

And now he was gone. 

**

Cal woke up to Juliet smacking his arm.  “Wake up, Cal.  The computer is demanding your attention.”

It took a few seconds for the events of the previous day to come rushing back.  Cal was overwhelmed by grief as he remembered Maggie’s blank expression as she had told him that Nikko had died.  Nothing was going to be okay again.  Cal sat up and realized he was back in Maggie’s lab, but he didn’t recall anything after going into Nikko’s room.  He asked, “How did I get here?”

“Maggie forced you to catch a few hours of sleep while the computer ran its program.”

“That was yesterday.”

Juliet frowned and gave him a once-over.  She said, “You need to take better care of yourself, Cal.”

Cal scratched his head and got a good look at Juliet.  She didn’t seem upset about anything, possibly a little concerned about Calvin, but he was wondering about his mental health at the moment too.  He asked, “Where’s Doctor Zond?”

“Last time I saw him, he was mumbling to himself and Vincent had forced him to go shower before his lunch plans with Nikko.  Something about trying not to convince his son that his dad should be institutionalized,” Juliet replied.

Cal stared at her and said, “That’s not funny.”

“What?”

“Calvin, are you going to come and deal with that incessant beeping on your computer?” Maggie said, appearing in the doorway.  She pointed back out to the main work area and added, “You were the one going on about the importance of decoding things.”

“I decoded it yesterday, but it was nonsense.”

Maggie and Juliet exchanged looks and Juliet said, “He thinks yesterday already happened.”

Maggie’s eyebrow shot up and she moved closer to Calvin.  He scrambled up off the couch and looked at the two of them.  Neither of them would joke about something like this, but Calvin couldn’t shake that pit in his stomach.  It had all been so real.  He ran his hand over his face and tried to think, only opening his eyes when he felt Maggie’s hand on his arm.  She asked, “Are you okay?”

“Not this again,” Calvin muttered.  He glanced around and there were no signs that the whole world had changed.  Everyone was going about business as usual, there were no lost looks on anyone’s faces, and Calvin slowly realized it had probably been a horrible dream.  He glanced down at the cut on his palm and wondered if the dream was brought on by the crystal.  The red crystal had given him a nice dream, a glimpse of a future that he wanted – maybe this one was showing him his worst nightmare.  

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Maggie asked, moving closer to Calvin and studying him closely like he was an ancient scroll she could translate.

“Not sleeping great, but I’m fine,” Calvin replied.

“He hasn’t been sleeping well for months,” Juliet stated.  Cal glared at her and she shrugged.  “It’s true.  Everyone’s noticed it.”

“Feel free to mind your own business.”

Juliet rolled her eyes and said, “Still fighting with Nikko – probably has something to do with it.”

“We’re not fighting.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Juliet, he’s right.  It’s none of our business,” Maggie said.  She turned her attention back to Cal and went on, “You need to tell us if you start to feel strange.  I discovered a text that talks about the crystals and it alluded to some of the people who touched it falling into a pit of madness.”

That didn’t sound too good and Cal was about to say as much when Nikko came strolling off the elevator.  He smiled over at the small group and found himself moving before he could stop himself, practically sprinting to Nikko’s side.  Cal’s eyes flickered over Nikko, trying to make sure that he was really okay, and watched his chest rise-and-fall.  Nikko was alive.  It was just a horrible dream. 

Cal shuddered and it took all of his control not to reach out and pull Nikko into a crushing hug. 

“You okay, Chuck?” Nikko asked with a confused look.

“I’m good.  You?” Calvin replied. 

Nikko smiled tentatively, his eyes flashing with confusion and then relief.  Calvin noticed Nikko’s hand lift slightly, like he might touch Calvin, and Calvin stepped back.  Nikko sighed, his face going blank, and he said, “I’m good.”

“That’s good.”

Nikko shifted uncomfortably on his feet and said, “You doing okay?”

“Good,” Calvin replied, itching to reach out and run his hands over Nikko, convince himself that he was really okay.  Instead he shoved his hands into his pockets and focused his gaze on the wall behind Nikko.  He said, “So lunch with your dad, huh?”

Nikko snapped his finger in front of Cal’s face, forcing Calvin to look at him.  “Seriously, dude, what’s wrong?”

“I need to get back to work,” Calvin replied. 

“Cal, stop.  Are you okay?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?  I’m fine.  Wonderful.  Great,” Cal shouted before he bolted for the bathroom.  He slid to the floor, trying to catch his breath.  There were so many things Calvin wanted to say, but as soon as he met Nikko’s gaze, he couldn’t think.  He remembered the awful pit in his stomach when Maggie had told him that Nikko was dead and all of those regrets that plagued him, but he still couldn’t stop himself from running away.  He yearned for something that couldn’t be his and he had no idea how to explain that to Nikko.  

He heard the door open quietly and noticed Nikko slide to the ground next to him.  Nikko said, “I know we’re not friends anymore-“

“-what?” Calvin replied, head snapping over to get a good luck at Nikko.  He said, “Of course we’re friends.”

“Are you kidding me right now?” Nikko said, his voice rising slightly.  He waved between them and said, “Cal, this is worse than when I first came to live with my dad.  And I get it, but don’t act like I’m an idiot.”

“We are friends.”

“Then your idea of friendship is severely fucked up,” Nikko replied.

“Says the guy that nearly got me murdered by a red crystal.”

Nikko momentarily looked like Calvin had struck him, but before Cal could say anything, Nikko’s face twisted with exasperation and asked, “Are we finally going to deal with this?”

“There’s nothing to deal with,” Cal lied, knowing it sounded hollow even to his ears.

“You know what?  Fine.  Whatever.  Be mad at me for the rest of eternity.  I’ll deal with it.  I deserve it.  But you look like shit.  You’re shaking and sporting a lovely shade of green.  The reason everyone keeps asking if you’re alright is because there is obviously something wrong.  You’re the one who told me before that your team has your back and you can’t keep it all bottled up.  So talk to your damn team,” Nikko replied, a cool anger setting into his posture.

Nikko hoisted himself off the ground, rubbing his palms against his jeans, and shook his head in frustration.  “For a smart guy you’re really fucking stupid.”

Calvin shot him a dirty look and muttered, “Words of wisdom from Nikko Zond.”

“Whatever, man,” Nikko replied.  It struck Calvin in that moment that all of Nikko’s hot-headed fury was gone and replaced by a cool, but controlled anger.  He wasn’t rising to the bait or storming off like a spoiled brat.  He stood his ground, not losing his cool, and Calvin was part proud and part irritated by it.  It reminded him so much of that dream Nikko of the future.

“Are we done?  I’ve got a ton of work to do,” Calvin said.

Nikko huffed and said, “You might want to talk to Maggie or Juliet.  They’re good listeners and they might able to help you so you can get some sleep.”

Calvin nodded, even though there was no way he could talk to Maggie or Juliet about any of this.  He wasn’t sure how to communicate that he had experienced this life where Nikko, his boss’s son, was his.  That they were happy and settled and how, since the stupid red crystal messed with his head, all Cal could think about was how much he both wanted and feared that future. 

There were no words that would make sense of it.  Maggie would probably tell him to follow his heart and Calvin couldn’t do that.  Right now that dream was just that; he couldn’t lose something that wasn’t real.    

Calvin stood up and turned on the spigot, splashing water over his face and trying to get his emotions in check.  Calvin could feel Nikko watching him through the mirror and it made his heart twist, fighting with his head to do something.  What was it about Nikko that always made him lose his mind?  He was a genius, a guy that didn’t make a habit of losing control, and it all went to hell when Nikko Zond had come strolling into his life two years ago.

“I’ve got it under control,” Calvin said, hoping Nikko would leave and give Calvin a second to get his thoughts in order. 

“I heard about the incident on that dig.  You really don’t have much luck with crystals.”

“No, I don’t,” Calvin replied shortly.  He grabbed a hold of the countertop and felt the worst sense of Déjà vu he had ever experienced and he remembered Maggie telling him that Nikko was dead.

“Sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t be snapping at you.  I’m just not sleeping well,” Calvin said.  He stared at himself in the mirror, trying to brush off everything that he had experienced recently.  His gut was telling him to fix things with Nikko, to not let him leave the way he had in that dream.  One more thing he wouldn’t be able to explain though, not without sounding completely insane, and he refused to accept that it was anything more than a nightmare.  He couldn’t even consider it.

“I’d invite you to stay at my place, but my roommate snores like a foghorn.  Noise-cancelling headphones don’t even work,” Nikko said.  He twisted the fingers of both hands together and ducked his head.  Calvin could tell there was more Nikko wanted to say and decided to wait him out, mostly because Calvin had no idea what he should do.  “Anyway, I’m just waiting for my dad.  We’re going to lunch.”

“Okay.”

“Thought maybe you might want to come along.”

“Me?”

“Sure.  He’d be less likely to grill for me an hour on things.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Calvin replied, turning back to face the sink, fighting back the urge to throw up at familiarity of the conversation.

Nikko made to leave, but stopped short.  He didn’t turn back around, but he said, “I’m really sorry about what happened last spring and I wish I could undo it, but I can’t.”

“Nikko, it’s fine.  We’re fine.”

Nikko scoffed and glanced over at Calvin.  “Except how we’re not.  I was stupid and reckless and I’m sorry.”

Calvin didn’t have a chance to respond before Nikko was walking out of the bathroom.  Calvin followed after him, unsure what he was going to say, but he knew he had to say something, to reassure Nikko that this distance between them was because of Calvin’s own issues, not Nikko.

Solomon was there, his arm draped over Nikko’s shoulder, and he glanced over at Cal with a considering look.  Calvin sighed, ready for the “are you okay” question, but Nikko interceded on his behalf.  Nikko said, “Cal’s got a lot of work to do.  I tried to convince him to consider eating every once-and-awhile, so he agreed to let you bring him back lunch.”

Calvin thought back to his dream and the way Maggie talked about how Nikko always looked out for Calvin, for all of them, and he couldn’t do anything except go along with it.  He said, “Some food would be great.”

Solomon smiled and said, “I’ll bring you back a burger.”

“And fries.  And maybe a salad too,” Nikko called out as Calvin walked off toward his desk, unable to keep the small smile off his face.

Cal sat down at this desk, reminding himself that everything was fine, and forced himself to focus on his work.

Except it wasn’t.  A few hours later, as soon as Maggie walked up to his desk with a part dumbfounded and part devastated look to her, he felt his heart stop in his chest.  He knew what she was about say and had to swallow back the bile that wanted to come up.  She barely had a chance to get out the words “hit by a car” before Calvin simply shut down.  He sat at the desk, eyes glued to his monitor, ignoring the sick, twisted feeling that he could have stopped it, and pretended not to hear the other’s falling apart.

Calvin tried to wrap his head around it – Nikko was dead…again.  None of it made any sense.

**

Calvin blinked his eyes open to Juliet hovering over him again and rolled to face the back of the couch, hoping that if he shut his eyes and ignored her, this would all be over.  Two days in a row he had woken up and two days in a row Nikko had died.  And he seemed to be the only one aware of it; the only one who had to remember the loss as Maggie let them know that Nikko was gone.

What the hell had he done to deserve this crap?  Why did these crystals keep messing with him?

“Cal, the program is done.  Time to wake up,” Juliet said, shaking his shoulder.  Cal forced himself to turn back over and blinked up at the ceiling, heaving out a long sigh.  Juliet replied, “You’re the one who insisted you needed to handle this, so handle it.”

“Yeah.”

Juliet’s expression twisted with worry and she asked, “You okay?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Anything I can do?”

“I’m a pretty smart guy, Juliet, but I can’t figure this thing out.”

“What?” she asked.  He shrugged and Juliet said, “Be more specific.”  When Cal remained silent, she went on, “The history of those crystals isn’t very pleasant for the people who found them, Cal.  It made it sound like a lot of them went insane.  So if you’re having issues, you need to let us know.”

“I’m thinking about this wrong,” Cal said, ignoring her and hopping off the sofa.  He glanced at the clock and saw that he still had some time before Nikko would show up.  He could stop it.  He could make sure Nikko didn’t get hit by a car.

“Cal,” Juliet called out, but Calvin waved her off and made his way to his computer.  He thought about a course of action and decided his best bet was to tag along with Solomon and Nikko to lunch.  Solomon didn’t know to be on alert, but Calvin did and he could make sure nothing happened to Nikko.  It probably would’ve helped to know more information, but Cal would work with what he had. 

As soon as the elevator doors opened, Cal was out of his chair and heading right for Nikko.  He grabbed his hand and pulled him aside to the small lobby area.  Nikko stared at him and said, “Hey there, Chuck.  You gone crazy or something?”

“Or something,” Cal muttered.  He reached out and touched Nikko’s chest, reminding himself that in this moment, Nikko was still alive and that was all that mattered. 

“What’s up?” Nikko asked.

“Not much.  Not sleeping, sort of starving, but there’s nothing here to eat,” Calvin replied.

Nikko motioned back toward Solomon’s office and said, “Dad and I are going to lunch.  You should come with us.”

“You sure?”

“Dude, I’d rather listen to the two of you talk shop for an hour than have the ‘why haven’t you picked a major yet – your whole life is on the line, Nikko’ talk.  I think, as much as he spent years protecting me from this stuff, he kind of wants me to follow in his footsteps.”

“Or he just wants you to figure out what makes you happy,” Calvin offered.

“Sure.  Archeology – the cure to all that ails the world.”  Nikko waved his hand at Cal and added, “This career path seems to really be working out well for you at the moment, Chuck.  You look terrible.”

Calvin smiled and said, “Always full of compliments, Nicky.”

Solomon appeared and studied them both before shooting Calvin a concerned look.  Nikko said, “I asked Cal to join us for lunch – figured you wouldn’t mind.”

“Probably be good for you to get out of the office for a little bit, Cal,” Solomon agreed.

Calvin didn’t say much during lunch, barely paid attention to the back-and-forth between Solomon and Nikko.  He just focused on his burger and prepared himself for the best way to deal with what was going to happen next.  He tried to plan for how it might happen.  Nikko was neither suicidal nor stupid, so Calvin couldn’t picture him stepping in front of a car going full-speed.  Calvin was willing to bet it was the stupid phone, but he couldn’t be sure.

Calvin caught Nikko glancing over at him and Calvin shifted his gaze away.  He needed to concentrate and not let his emotions get in the way of what had to be done.  Calvin knew he was being a jerk, sending mixed messages to Nikko about where they stood, and it was no wonder that Nikko doubted they were friends.  Calvin wanted to make it right, but he had no idea how to explain any of this – not the felt-so-real dream or the way he kept repeating the same day.  But none of that was important.  The only thing that mattered was saving Nikko, making sure he lived and maybe then the day would stop repeating itself.

Calvin had planned to linger behind Nikko and Solomon on the walk back to the office, but it all went to hell when Solomon’s phone rang.  Solomon stopped walking, motioning to the boys to keep going before he started talking animatedly about the latest finds.  Calvin tried to keep some distance between him and Nikko as they walked, but Nikko slowed his own pace down to match Calvin’s.  He glanced back at Solomon and said, “Some things never change…at least we made it all the way through lunch.  It’s a new best.”

“He loves you.”

“I know that.  Vincent says I need to have patience with him,” Nikko replied.  He chuckled lightly, but when he looked over at Calvin, there was remorse evident.  He said, “I’m trying to work on the whole patience thing – not being an impulsive idiot and nearly getting people killed.”

“Nikko…”

“I know I’ve said it about a hundred times already and I get that it doesn’t undo any of it, but I’m sorry, Cal.  Never meant for you to get hurt.  I saw the crystal and just acted.  It was stupid.”

“It was stupid, but I’ve done stupider things,” Cal replied.

Nikko eyed him and said, “Figured you were still pissed about it.”

“I stopped being pissed a few days after it happened,” Calvin admitted.

Nikko grabbed Cal’s arm and stopped walking, nearly sending Cal crashing into him.  Cal was about to complain when Nikko asked, “Why the hell have you been avoiding me for months?”

Calvin groaned.  He couldn’t have this conversation.  He didn’t care if it made him weak and cowardly – it was better for Nikko for him to keep his distance until whatever these feelings were passed.  Nikko was the brave one, not him, and as much as a part of him wanted to share every single thing, he couldn’t do it.  He told himself that it was better this way.  Calvin could never be that version from that vision of the future, who was able to get out of his own way and be that open with someone else.  Nikko deserved more than that and he’d find it.  There would be some new girl or guy to flirt with as long as Cal could fix things today. 

“Cal?”

Calvin said, “We’re not having that conversation right now.”

“What conversation?”

“Nikko, for once, let it go.”

Nikko glared at him, but increased his pace and walked ahead of Cal.  Calvin sighed and glanced back at Solomon, wondering if the older man had overheard any part of the discussion, but he was lost in his own conversation. 

It happened so damn quick that in the time it took Calvin to pull his attention back to Nikko, the idiot was darting into the street in front of a truck.  Within seconds, screams, the high-pitched squeal of the brakes, and a horrible cracking sound echoed around them. Both he and Solomon reacted at the same time and Calvin suddenly understood what had caused Nikko to jump into traffic…a little boy, who couldn’t have been older than six, shoved off to the side, crying into his sleeve while his equally shaken mother held him tight, staring in horror at where Nikko’s was lying.

Calvin stood there, looking down at Nikko whose face was twisted with pain.  The only sounds that registered were the shallow coughs and gurgling noisesthat Nikko made as he tried to breathe.  Solomon knelt down next to him, telling Nikko to hold on and hollering for help.  Nikko said something that Cal couldn’t hear, but Solomon’s eyes darted to the boy and he nodded.

Nikko glanced up at Cal and Calvin moved before he could stop himself.  He knelt down and said, “Don’t you do it, Nikko.  You’re too stubborn.”

Nikko tried to reach out and Cal knew what he wanted, grabbing a hold of Nikko’s hand, and forcing a small, comforting smile onto his face.  He said, “You’re gonna be fine, Nicky.”

Calvin heard Solomon choke back a sob and saw Solomon’s hand brush the hair back off Nikko’s forehead, unfurling something inside Calvin.  Solomon knew what Calvin did – Nikko was going to die.  Calvin’s heart sank.  He had failed Nikko again.  He was useless, not even able to save Nikko, a better and braver man than Cal would ever be.  The type of man, who rushed into traffic to help people, while he hid away like a coward from his feelings.  Calvin squeezed Nikko’s hand and glanced over at Solomon, who seemed to know what was coming.  Calvin hated himself all over again – he was supposed to stop this.

Calvin heard Solomon hollering out for help, but he couldn’t pull his eyes away from Nikko, who was struggling to breathe.  Calvin could feel Nikko slipping away, but it still gutted him when Nikko’s eyes shut.  Nikko was gone and Cal hadn’t stopped it.

Calvin had watched Sophie die and that had been hard to process, but this was near impossible.  Nikko was always so full of life – bright and happy and, even when he was an annoying pain in the ass,he was someone that people wanted to be around. 

**

Calvin woke up again with Juliet standing above him.  He stood up and walked out of Maggie’s lab and got on the elevator.  His phone started to ring and he turned it off.  He wondered if he was dead and this was some sort of hell – forced to lose one of the people that mattered most to him and not be able to do a damn thing to stop it.

He went into the bar down the street, listening to two guys bullshit about hockey as they watched a replay of the game from the night before.  A few hours later, with a few too many shots of whiskey imbibed, Calvin stumbled out onto the street.  He didn’t even like whiskey, but he couldn’t figure out how to deal with any of this.  He noticed the little boy that Nikko had saved yesterday.  The accident had only been a few blocks from there and Cal wondered if maybe he could find a different way to make things right.  He walked over to where the kid and his mother were.  He smiled at her, his most charming one, but it probably came off as more creepy than anything since he was drunk.  In fact, it definitely had to be creepy because the woman threw her arms protectively over her son’s shoulders and started to hurry off.

Cal followed behind and stumbled right into the street, only registering the truck when Nikko was suddenly charging him and knocking him out of the way.

Worse than watching Nikko die was watching Nikko die because of him.

**

The next two days when he woke up on the couch again, he decided he had enough.  There was no point to any of it, nothing he could do about it, so why even bother.  Calvin brushed past Juliet, ignoring her questions, and locked himself in one the spare bedrooms.  He stayed in there all day, staring at ceiling and counting the small markings along the wall.  When Maggie came to knock on the door, he ignored it.  He already knew what happened.

**

Calvin shot upright on the couch and groaned.  He clutched his head and, before Juliet could get a word out, said, “No, I’m not fine.  And I don’t give a damn about the computer program.”

Calvin glanced around the lab and noticed the stupid crystal.  He recalled Maggie and Juliet saying the crystal made people go crazy and he couldn’t help but wonder if this was how it happened.  Maybe he was going to be stuck reliving this same day for the rest of his life until he finally did snap.

Cal walked over to it, opened the case and was about to pick it up, when Juliet grabbed him.  She said, “Cal, stop.  We still don’t know-“

“-likely to make me go crazy.  Yeah, I got it,” Cal replied, picking it up.  His hands tingled slightly, but there was nothing more to it at first, and then the thing started to glow.

“Cal, put it down.”

“Why?”

“Because it could kill you,” Juliet said.

Cal studied it, ran his fingers over the strange etchings, and shut his eyes.  He wasn’t really a huge believer in God, more focused on the things that could be proven with science, but he had seen enough to hope.  So he prayed to whoever might be listening to stop this, to let Nikko be okay.

“Calvin!  Put that back!” Maggie said, appearing behind him.

Cal sighed and put it back into the casing.  He turned to meet Maggie’s furious expression and said, “It’s fine.  Still standing.”

“Until you’ve finished translating the messages from the site, no one is supposed to touch it.  It might-“

“-make me go crazy.  Yeah, I told Juliet that I know that already.”

Maggie stared at him and said, “And you still touched it?”

“I’m already crazy,” Calvin said with a shrug.

He went to his desk, ignoring the translation program, and researching what was known about the stupid Fort and why a weird crystal might be buried there.  He kept hoping that maybe he had changed things – that maybe today Nikko wouldn’t show up.  A little while later Nikko came strolling off the elevator like he had a dozen times already and Cal felt that familiar ache in his chest. 

Calvin stood up and walked over to Nikko, determined to put an end to this crap.  Nikko smiled at him and Calvin asked, “Any chance you want to hang out and watch a movie?  I think I need a break from computer screens.”

Nikko looked torn, glancing toward his father’s office, and then he shrugged.  “Sure, let me tell my dad.”

“Oh, did you guys have plans?”

“Not a big deal.  He’d probably rather be here anyway,” Nikko replied.  He eyed Calvin over and asked, “You okay?”

“Just a little stressed.”

“Okay.  I’ve got a bunch of movies still in my room, you can go pick what you want to watch while I talk to my dad.”

“Sounds good,” Calvin replied.

And it was good.  They didn’t actually talk about anything important, but Calvin realized how much he missed having Nikko around.  They were always able to put things aside and laugh together, even when they were so mad at each other that they couldn’t see straight.  They made a good team and Calvin couldn’t stop himself from wondering what might be so bad about grabbing Nikko and kissing him; just putting it all out there.  The weirdness might not be any worse than it was now.

Nikko swatted Calvin with a piece of licorice and said, “You want to watch the next one?”

“You can’t just watch New Hope.  You have to watch the other two.”

“Such a nerd, Cal,” Nikko commented, moving from his spot in the recliner to put the next movie on.  When he was done, instead of going back to his chair, he flopped down on the bed next to Cal, sprawling out across one side.

Calvin hadn’t felt this good in a long time and he fell asleep sometime during the third movie, thinking about how much he wanted Nikko back in his life.

**

When Cal woke up on the couch again, he cursed out loud and covered his face with his hands.

“Cal?”

“What have you learned about the crystal?”

“What?”

“The crystal.  Other than it might make me go crazy, what have you learned?”

“How did you know about that?”

“Not important,” Cal said, waving at her dismissively.  “Anything else?”

“Not really, but clear quartz like this is supposed to bring clarity and show the shadows of the mind.”

“The shadows of the mind?”

“A manifestation of the things we want.”

Cal sighed.  He definitely didn’t want Nikko to die, so there went that theory.  He stood up and said, “Great.”

Cal threw himself into his chair and banged his head against the keyboard, ignoring the strange looks from everyone.  When Solomon pulled him into his office and asked what was wrong, Cal simply shrugged and said he needed to take a walk. 

He made it back just in time to see Nikko dart into the street again.

**

Calvin was starting to lose count of the days and he wasn’t sure how many times he could have his heart ripped out of his chest when Nikko died on him.

Calvin didn’t even give Nikko a chance to take a step forward before he was reaching out and wrapping his arms around Nikko.  The elevator doors closed behind Cal and they started their descent, Cal holding onto Nikko like he could keep him there by sheer will.

Nikko stiffened for a moment before wrapping his arms around Cal and saying, “Hey buddy, you okay?”

Cal knew he should pull away, but he buried his face in the curve of Nikko’s neck and just held on.  Nothing else mattered in that moment and god, he wanted to kiss him, to tell him everything and explain what losing him over and over again was doing to Cal.

“Chuck?  Hey…” Nikko’s voice was soft and gentle.

Cal tried to say something, but no words would come out and he just held on tighter.

“What do you need?”

“Just you,” Cal said.

“I’m right here,” Nikko replied.

“Can’t do this without you,” Cal muttered.  When he realized what he had admitted, he slipped out of the hug and moved to the other side of the elevator.  He half expected Nikko to be pissed off, but there was a wariness and hope there that was even worse.  Cal scrubbed his hand over his face and said, “Shit.”

Nikko started to reach out for him again and Cal pushed him away.  When the elevator doors open, he took off, ignoring Nikko hollering after him.  He ran across the street to one of the benches and sat there.  When he heard sirens, he was certain he knew what it was for.

**

Cal sat up and simply waved Juliet off.  He grabbed a cup of coffee, downed it and pointed at Juliet.  He said, “I’ll get the damn computer to stop beeping, no I’m not okay, and I’m not going to talk about it.”

Juliet shook her head, muttered under her breath and stalked off.  As Calvin made his way to his desk, he noticed Maggie lingering close by and he said, “Maggie, I know about the crystals and yes, I’m most definitely going crazy, but I doubt there is anything you can do about it.”

“What?”

Calvin shrugged and said, “I’m going to focus on my work.  If there’s a bright side to this whole damn mess, it’s that I’ve figured out that the nonsense is actually just a second code that I need to figure out, but so far, what I’ve got seems to be a stupid riddle.  Why did they all like riddles?”

“Okay.”

“Okay?  Really?  That’s all you’ve got?”

“It’s clear you don’t want to talk about it and it seems more imperative now that we figure this crystal out.”

“That’s not what’s making me crazy,” Calvin replied.  His heartbeat started to pound in his chest, echoing in his ears, and he could feel his hand shaking, but couldn’t stop it.  He clutched at his chest and let out a gasp of breath like he would as a rollercoaster plummeted into its first drop…except it didn’t stop and he couldn’t seem to get his lungs to work.

Maggie tugged on Calvin’s arm, pulled him back into her lab, and closed the door.  He wanted to thank her from sparing him from a nervous breakdown in front of everyone, but he was too busy trying to breathe.  Maggie spoke gently, “Calvin, you’re having a panic attack.  I know it sounds impossible, but try to take a deep breath.”

Calvin could barely hear her over the ringing in his ears and he kept picturing Nikko on the ground, blood everywhere, as he struggled against the pain.  He thought about Nikko in his arms and how badly Cal wanted to kiss him and realizing that Nikko would be okay with it and thewounded look on his face when Cal ran off. 

“Cal, you’re okay.  This isn’t life threatening.  Just try to breathe,” Maggie said, taking exaggerated deep breaths to try to calm him down.  He knew she meant well, but it wasn’t exactly helpful.

She seemed to realize that and placed her hand on his shoulder.  She started talking to him about the inventory of items from the last dig and he was able to slowly get his breathing in order.  He wiped haphazardly at the tears and Maggie sat down next to him.  She asked, “You want to talk about it?”

“I keep making a mess of things, Maggie.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m stuck and, no matter what I do, it’s wrong.  Nothing changes,” he replied.  Before he could stop himself, he punched his fist into the wall next to him and cursed under his breath.  He started to head out of the room only to be blocked by Vincent.

“You okay there?”

“Nope.  Not at all.  And I think I might have broken my hand.”

Vincent arched an eyebrow, but stepped aside.  Vincent questioned, “When was the last time you slept?”

It felt like years, but Calvin responded, “Just did.”

Vincent walked over to Cal and squeezed his shoulder.  He motioned toward the gym area and said, “Come with me.”

“Why?”

“Because someone needs to wrap that hand up,” Vincent replied.

The thing Calvin had always liked most about Vincent was that he wasn’t given to unnecessary chatter.  They sat in silence as Vincent rubbed alcohol over Cal’s knuckles and wrapped it up.  When he was done, he handed Calvin some pain killers and water.  Vincent didn’t get up and walk away.  He stared Calvin down and said, “Sometimes it takes a while for us to understand what we want.”

“What?”

“You look like a man grasping for something,” Vincent replied.  When Calvin didn’t say anything, he said, “Nikko would help you with that code if you asked him too.”

Calvin stood up and said, “I know.  That’s why I don’t ask.  He should be focused on college.”

“There are some things you can’t run from, Cal.  They just are,” Vincent replied.

Cal stared at Vincent and said, “I guess this is what Nikko means when he says you talk like a fortune cookie.”

“I guess the most important question to ask yourself – what are you going to regret more?  Fighting for what you want and possibly losing it or running away and never getting it?”

Cal sighed and started to walk off.  He said, “I wish it were that simple.”

“Which means it probably is,” Vincent replied.

By the time Calvin finished considering his options, it was too late to do anything about it.  Nikko was dead.

**

Calvin nodded as Juliet told him the program was done and simply made his way to his desk.  The more research he did on the crystal, the less he believed that it was ever going to change.  He knew why all those people suddenly went crazy, except it was only sudden to those around them…god only knew how many times those people had lived the same day.

Maggie walked over and handed him a cup of coffee.  Calvin took it with a nod of appreciation before turning his attention back to his computer.  

“Cal?”

“Hhhmmm?”

“I think this has gone on long enough, don’t you?”

“What?”

“You and Nikko.”

“What are you talking about?” Cal asked.  Maggie watched him with a dubious expression and he sighed.  “Okay, so things have been a little strained.”

“He didn’t mean for you to get hurt.”

“I know that, Maggie.  He would’ve taken that hit himself if he could have,” Calvin replied.

“Have you considered telling him that?”

“What does it matter?”

Maggie shook her head and said, “Nikko is right about you.  You’re clueless.”

“It’s complicated.”

Maggie arched her eyebrow and said, “It seems to me that you’re making it complicated and you’re the one suffering for it.”

“I’m fine.”

“Calvin, I’ve known you for almost four years.  This is not you when you’re fine.”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

She squeezed his shoulder and said, “Even Solomon has noticed it, Cal.  It’s not a big secret how you feel about each other.  The only one who might be more clueless than you is Nikko and I think that’s because he’s still too busy beating himself up over what happened.”

Deep down Calvin had known that Nikko cared about him too, but to hear someone else say it made his heart clench.  He groaned and admitted, “I don’t know how to do this.  No matter what I do, it never changes.”

“You could start by talking to him,” Maggie replied.  “I know you lost Sophie and that it-“

“-this isn’t the same thing,” Cal argued.  He hadn’t seen a future that he hadn’t even known he wanted with Sophie.  He had cared about her, but they had barely known each other at that point in their lives, and while he never wanted her dead, it didn’t compare with what he felt watching Nikko slip away. “There’s no me and Nikko.  There can’t be.”

She sighed and asked, “Do you want there to be?”

“What?”

“Because no one would begrudge you and Nikko whatever happiness you could find.”

“Maggie, it’s not that simple,” Calvin replied.

“Why not?  You find someone that matters, you should fight for them,” Maggie said.

“But-“

“-the question is:  does he matter to you?”

“Of course he does.  I tried not to love him, but the more I did that, the harder it got.  There are so many reasons it’s a bad idea, but the most pressing one would be that the stupid crystal is making me crazy.”

“How did you know about that?  I just-“

“-read it this morning.  Yeah, I know.  It’s a long story and you won’t remember it tomorrow anyway.” 

“Calvin, did you hear what you said?”

“That you won’t-“ Cal’s voice trailed off at the knowing smile on Maggie’s face. “Alright.  I love him.  Doesn’t change anything.”

“That’s up to you,” Maggie replied.

Calvin wanted to argue with her.  He could recite his list of reasons of why it had seemed like a bad idea to pursue anything, but he wasn’t sure anymore.  It seemed so simple when he took his head out of the equation – he loved Nikko and he was almost certain that Nikko felt the same way about him.  And yeah, there was the time loop that had him stuck in the same god forsaken day, but he was choosing how to spend that time.  Why couldn’t he enjoy the day with Nikko?  What did he have left to be scared of?   He had continually watched the person who mattered most to him get snatched away over and over again.  Nothing could hurt more than that. 

Calvin stood up and leaned against his desk.  He suddenly heard Nikko’s voice clear as day in his head – for such a smart guy, you can be really stupid – and Calvin wondered why it had taken him so long to figure it out.  Cal asked, “What if you knew you were just going to lose that person in the end?”

“Part of living is the fact that you can’t know that.”

“Just humor me.  What if you knew that by the end of the day, he would be gone?  What would you do?”

“I’d want to spend every second I could with the person, make sure there was nothing left unsaid and he knew exactly what he meant to me,” Maggie replied.

“Even if it meant-“

“Even if,” Maggie replied. 

Calvin sighed.  He flashed on him and Nikko sitting at a kitchen island in their apartment, drinking tea and eating cookies…and he wished that could be his future.  But over and over Nikko died and Calvin couldn’t save him.

The very least Calvin could do was make things right between them. 

Calvin pulled Maggie into a hug and said, “Thanks.”

Maggie nudged Calvin in the stomach and motioned to the lobby area where Nikko had just bounded off the elevator.  Cal couldn’t breathe as he took a good look at him – so alive and healthy, the glow from the lights showing off the sharp edges of his cheekbones and jaw line. 

Calvin wished like hell that he could hold onto him and, as he glanced back at Maggie, he knew that it could be his.  All Calvin had to do was cross the room and go to him.  Nikko hadn’t pulled away from him or protested when Cal had clung to him.  Nikko wasn’t the one who ran off after Cal admitted what he was feeling.  After months of Calvin ignoring him and refusing to explain anything, Nikko was still there for him. 

Nikko’s eyes locked on Calvin and he grinned.  Calvin stared at him for a bit, feeling a peaceful calm settle into his chest.  He knew what he wanted and he didn’t want to keep running from it.  Nikko waved over to him and Cal quickly excused himself from Maggie, who just grinned at him.

“Hey Cal,” Nikko said.

Calvin grabbed Nikko’s hand and pulled him into one of the empty offices, closing the door behind him.  Nikko looked perplexed and was about to say something and Cal held up his hand to shut him up.  He said, “So I’m going to talk and you’re going to listen.”

“Okay.”

“I love you-“

“-Cal-“

“-you’re being quiet,” Cal said.  Nikko huffed but motioned for Cal to go on.  Cal took a deep breath and said, “You’re a pain in the ass, but you’re also the person I count on most and not talking to you has been making me crazy.  I get stuck in my head sometimes, and you’re the one who made me realize that it’s not healthy.  You’ve made me better, Nikko, and I think, no I know, that you’re worth fighting for.”  Cal cleared his throat and took a deep breath.  “I’m well aware that this could blow up in our faces.  Your dad is my boss and there’s the age difference and the fact that we still fight all the time…but I love you and I thought you should know.”

Nikko stared at him and Cal stared back, worrying if he had crossed some line and misread things.  Nikko pointed to himself and said, “Oh, am I allowed to talk now?”

“Please do.”

“Nice speech,” Nikko said.

Cal smiled and said, “And I was just winging it."  Nikko stared at him and Cal nudged him.  "Aren’t you going to say anything else? Let me know how you feel about me?"

“I’m a man of action, Chuck,” Nikko replied.  Nikko’s hands rested on Cal’s hips and he leaned forward to press their lips together.  It started out tentative and tender before quickly turning into more as Cal pulled him closer, his fingers gripping Nikko’s hair, and deepening the kiss. 

The kiss ended when Cal pulled back.  His thumb traced over Nikko’s jaw and he smiled, feeling better than he had in months.  He knew in the morning Nikko wouldn’t remember any of this, but Calvin wanted to hold onto the moment, of knowing that he loved Nikko and Nikko loved him back.

Nikko placed his hand on Cal’s chest and asked, “This why you’ve been avoiding me like the plague?”

“Yeah.”

“For a smart guy, you’re a real idiot,” Nikko replied fondly.  He rested his forehead against Cal’s and leaned in to kiss him again.  When they separated he said, “We could’ve been doing this for months, Cal.  Months.”

“I didn’t want to ruin things, but I’ve realized that I only made it worse.  I never meant for you to think…god, Nikko, I could never hate you.  You’re the most important person in my life.”

“You’re pretty important to me too, Chuck.”

Calvin grabbed a fistful of Nikko’s shirt, thinking about a more faded and stretched out version from his memory.  He pulled Nikko in for a lingering kiss, trying to express everything he still couldn’t find the words for and erase the images of watching the light flicker out of Nikko’s eyes.  He wrapped his arms around Nikko and buried his face in Nikko’s hair, breathing in the familiar smell of Nikko and allowing it to center him.

“oh, and for the record - I love you too, Cal,” Nikko said, rubbing his hands up and down Cal’s back.

Calvin slipped out of Nikko’s grip and said, “Think I can convince you to hang out here today?”

“Gee, let me think on that.  Make out sessions with you or lunch listening to my dad drone on about making good choices.  Sometimes it’s like I’m stuck in a bad afterschool special,” Nikko replied.

Calvin rolled his eyes and said, “He just wants what’s best for you.  Be grateful you have that.”

“You’re not the one he texts every day about choosing a major.  Every day.  Are you guys not keeping him busy enough?”

Calvin decided to stop this conversation, not really in the mood to talk about Solomon Zond, by hauling him in for another kiss.  Calvin had a feeling that might become his new favorite way to shut Nikko up and abruptly end potential arguments.  Nikko deepened the kiss, his hand sliding under Calvin’s tee-shirt, and Calvin cursed himself for not doing this sooner.  He let his own hands travel down Nikko’s back, mapping the plains of muscle, and groping Nikko’s ass.  There was a small voice in his head that told him this was a bad idea, that reminded him of all the reasons he had avoided this, but he was done running.  Even when the day repeated itself in the morning, Calvin would know what he had.  It would be worth it.

**

Cal woke up slowly, feeling a weight pressing against his back and breath tickling his neck.  He shifted and felt an arm go around his waist, pulling him closer.

Cal smiled and then realization slammed into him, making him jolt upright in the bed.  There was no Juliet shaking him awake.  No Maggie talking to him about crystals and asking if he was okay.  There was no lumpy couch in Maggie’s lab with springs poking into his back uncomfortably.

Nikko grunted and threw his arm over his eyes and Cal shut his eyes.  It wasn’t the same morning.  It was the next day and he and Nikko had fallen asleep watching a movie and catching up, intermixed with kisses and tentative touches as they slowly tried to figure out what was going on. 

Something had changed.  It was _tomorrow_ and he found himself reaching out to stroke his fingers along Nikko’s chest, letting himself believe this was real.   

He remembered the release he felt when he decided to forget all of his doubts and finally made the decision to be honest about what Nikko meant to him, knowing that no matter what else happened, at least he would have that perfect moment.   Maybe he could make Nikko happy, attempt to make up for all the unnecessary misery he had caused them both.  It had been a good day.  Maggie and Julie had exchanged knowing smiles that Calvin promptly ignored.  And Vincent smirked when Solomon ordered Calvin to take it easy and asked Nikko to keep an eye on him.  Solomon had shaken his head in amusement when Nikko grabbed Cal’s hand and yanked him away.  Calvin realized that Maggie was right and everyone else had figured out what Calvin was feeling long before he had.

“Cal, what are you doing?   It’s too early,” Nikko whined, slapping at Cal’s hand.

There was still that small part of Calvin that wanted to hightail it out of there.  Play it off as a side effect to the crystals, but he slid further down onto the bed and wrapped his arms around Nikko, drawing him closer.  He pressed a kiss to Nikko’s forehead and said, “You’re a brat.”

“Yeah, but you love me and there’s no take backs.”

Cal brushed his fingers through Nikko’s hair and said, “I’m in love with an idiot.”

Nikko placed a light kiss to Calvin’s neck and the tenderness made Calvin tremble, but he couldn’t stop himself from moving closer so that they were chest-to-chest.  Nikko gave him a sleepy smile and said, “Sleep.  We can figure the rest out later.”

“Yeah, later,” Calvin replied, shutting his eyes and relaxing in Nikko’s arms.


	4. Epilogue

_**the (not-so) distant future** _

Calvin woke up on his couch to find Solomon sitting at Calvin’s kitchen table with his gaze fixed solely on him, despite the book he had opened. The couch squeaked as Calvin sat himself up, trying to ignore the twinge of his bruised ribs and the general ache in his body.  “What happened?”

“You’re a stubborn idiot,” Solomon said, closing the book and pushing it aside.

“How did I get on my couch?”

Solomon stood up and asked, “What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Nikko yelling at me that I was a reckless idiot who put too much value in stupid ancient dishware,” Calvin replied.   He was pretty sure Solomon could tell that Calvin wasn't telling the whole truth - it seemed impossible to lie to either of the Zond men - but he didn't push him for more information.  It only served as a reminder to Calvin that he was hurt and everyone was too worried to focus on anything else.  And, if Solomon was worried, Calvin could only guess how well Nikko was handling things.  He glanced around and asked, “Where is he?”

Solomon motioned to the door and said, “Vincent made Nikko go for a walk.”

He looked at the clock and said, “It’s three in the morning.”

“You scared him.  He said something about you thinking you were from an alternate universe and then you collapsed.  I’m not sure if he’s more pissed at you or me at the moment.  Vincent will calm him down.”

Calvin cautiously touched the lump on his head and winced slightly.  It hadn’t been his finest moment, but when he saw the jug, he had suddenly remembered those stupid crystals from years ago.  He recalled the red crystal that had cut through him and allowed him to see what he could have.  Sure, it took him a long time to come to grips with the fact that it was his future – out of stubbornness and fear – but he couldn’t imagine his life going any other way.

So he couldn’t risk the chance that the Calvin of the past wouldn’t show up and see what was waiting for him, even if he refused to believe it for a long time. 

“Cal?” Solomon questioned, concern etched into his face.

Calvin stood up slowly and said, “I need to find Nikko.”

“He’ll be back soon and you’re in no shape-“

“-with all due respect, Doctor Zond, you don’t know what he gets like.”

“You’re right, but I remember all too well what his mother was like and he’s just like her.  Better for you to stay here.  Trust me on that one,” Solomon responded.  He motioned between them and said, “And we’ve talked repeatedly about the Doctor Zond thing.”

“It’s weird.”

“You’ve been in a relationship with my son for almost eight years.  I think we moved past weird a long time ago.”

Before Calvin could respond, Nikko came in and shrugged out of his coat.  His eyes locked on Calvin and Calvin smiled at him, even after all this time feeling that familiar tug of love.  He stepped closer to Nikko and asked, “You okay?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, Nicky,” Calvin replied, reaching out and grabbing a hold of Nikko’s hand, hauling him into an embrace.  Nikko shuddered and his arms went around Calvin’s neck and just like that all Nikko’s walls came crumbling down.  Calvin still remembered how calm and patient Nikko had been while they waited for Solomon to show up, not appreciating at the time how much that had torn Nikko apart.  He knew better now and held on tighter.  He whispered, “I’m right here.  Not going anywhere.”

Calvin could feel Nikko shaking as he pulled back and stared at Cal.  Nikko’s eyes bore into his and the moment seemed to stretch out between them before Nikko smiled at him, the one that only Calvin ever seemed to earn, and said, “There you are, Chuck.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Calvin replied, pressing a bruising kiss to Nikko's lips to remind him that he was there as his hand traced down Nikko’s spine.

Solomon cleared his throat and said, “I assume Vincent is waiting out front for me, so I’ll just let myself out.  Try to remember to lock the door.”

Nikko didn’t bother to pull away from Calvin, just gave his dad a thumbs up signal.   Calvin still wasn’t feeling a hundred percent but he wasn’t sure if the slight sway of his body was from the concussion or the way Nikko still affected him. 

Nikko caressed Calvin’s face and he leaned into the touch before taking Nikko’s hand and kissing his palm.  He said, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It just comes naturally.  I know,” Nikko replied.   He motioned between them and said, “I have to say amnesia is a new one.”

“Not amnesia,” Cal said.

Nikko stared at him and Calvin could see the second it dawned on him.  “Okay, wow.”  He grabbed a handful of Calvin’s shirt and said, “So you did remember?”

“Maybe.”

“And never felt the need to tell me?”

“It didn’t seem important,” Calvin said with a shrug.  He had considered it over the years, but the incidents with the crystals had scarred them both in different ways.  Calvin knew the guilt that Nikko had carried for a long time after and Calvin wasn’t sure he would ever forget the horrors of watching Nikko die in front of him repeatedly.  The closest Calvin had ever come to saying anything was about a year into their relationship when a large truck flew past them on the street and Cal couldn’t move.  He had hugged Nikko tight and made him promise to never jump in front of a moving car and Nikko had shot him a look and said, “Okay, sure, Chuck.  No dodging into traffic.”

“Obviously it was important enough for you to nearly kill yourself over.”

“Okay, it was important, but…” Cal paused and kissed the frown off of Nikko’s face.  He went on, “…we’re still you and me and telling you about some weirdo vision that I wasn’t even sure was real wouldn’t have changed that.”

Nikko seemed unsure – his mouth opening and closing a few times while he tried to make sense of it.  Calvin said, “I saw that jug and it just clicked.”

“It just clicked?  You’re a genius and you want me to believe you didn’t put it together sooner than yesterday?  I call bullshit.”

“I only became sure of it a few years ago, when the realtor brought us here.  Someone had refused to tell me anything about how we got together,” Calvin said, shaking Nikko gently.  “Anyway, that vision was the first time I even let myself consider the possibility of a future with you.”

“So you risked life and limb so that you could purposefully get a concussion?” Nikko replied.  He shook his head and said, “I fell in love with a crazy person.”

“Couldn’t risk messing things up.  Wouldn’t be able to do this without you, Nicky.”

“Don’t get all sappy on me to avoid my wrath.  You attempted to leap across a ravine to save a jug, which is apparently worthless and only served to nearly kill you, all so past you could learn some weird Dickens-like lesson.  I can’t even-”

Cal was pretty sure Nikko would have kept going so he cut him off with a long, passionate kiss, backing Nikko up against the door.  He didn’t stop until they were both gasping for air and even then he leaned in and kissed Nikko’s throat.

“I’m still mad.”

“I know.  I love you too,” Calvin said, intertwining their hands together as he mouthed at Nikko’s jaw.

Nikko turned his head and crushed their lips together.  Calvin smiled into the kiss.  A little concussion was definitely worth insuring he got this future.  He just wished he could go back to the worst of it all and let himself know it would work out. 

Calvin pulled away, but continued to hold onto Nikko’s hand.  He said, “Let’s head to bed.”

“Always so smooth,” Nikko replied.

“A true romantic, willing to, and I quote, ‘risk life and limb’ to make damn sure you stayed mine.”

“Further proof you’re an idiot.  Like I’ve ever been anyone else’s,” Nikko said with a shake of his head before letting go of Cal’s hand, turning off the living room light, and walking toward their room. 

Cal grinned.  Definitely worth it all in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So anyway...I really hope this checked all the boxes. It got a lot away from me, but I really wanted to tell their story right and Cal was a stubborn (and wordy) narrator. Happy yuletide and here's to a wonderful 2018!


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